Keep Wearing Wedding Band? [Thread #4]

[mulesqb]

FG - Just tried to catch up on your sitch as some of the things you mention in albac's thread got me thinking. Your sitch is similar to what mine was, just a lot more civilized.

Just a quick recap. I was on this board back in 2008-09. My sitch got crazy but I had a lot of great people helping me. I ended up with full custody of my boys. Flash forward to where I am now. I ended up D'd at the end of 2009. It took a while. I am VERY happy in my life now. I am with an incredible woman now for 7 years who also went through a D. Biggest thing for me was trust after what I went through. Funny thing was when I met this woman the trust was there immediately and it was mutual.

I got to thinking that I wouldn't be where I am now without this place. Back in the day everyone here thought I was a success story because I got my kids. At the time I felt like a complete failure because I ended up D'd. For some reason the last few weeks I felt like coming back here and seeing how people are doing. It's amazing how so many stories at their core are so similar.

You stick out to me because of the in-house sep. I did that. It was BRUTAL. But your W seems pretty civilized. Mine was just angry. She was more angry with the kids than me at the time.

One thing I will say that someone here already said to you was if you want your M to ever have a chance you need some time apart. I can't agree more. Moreso because whatever she's going through she needs time alone to figure it out. The in house sep is not giving it that chance. And whatever you are doing to better yourself and take care of yourself she is to close to it. Probably is ticked off about it.

Last thing I wanted to mention is what you wrote early on in your threads about your physical relationship with your W. Man that hit close to home. In my M it always felt obligatory. Even early on when things were supposedly good. My XW always made me feel bad about wanting that. Now....so different. So hot and so much on the same page. It was an immediate connection and after 7 years it keeps getting better. I never thought I would be able to say that. But it is 100% true. We make time for each other even though we have 6 kids in the house. We make dates and most of all we really like each other. That is the basis of true love.

If I could say one thing that sticks out to me to you, it would to not be afraid of where the chips fall. You are a good man. No matter how this plays out you are going to be fine. It's easy to fall into a funk because you feel like someone is blowing up your world. But in my case my XW did me a huge favor. You can get busy living or get busy dying. Remember that line. Tough times don't last, tough people do. Get busy living. You can handle it.

Strength and Honor.

Mules