Home isn't the only place you can spend time with your kids. Why not take them to a park, museum, hiking trail, concert, etc., etc.?
It will be easier to focus on the kids when you're away from the tension, and I think the more time you spend focusing on other things, the easier it is to do.
Over the past 5 months, H and I have both stepped up our GAL activities, and our kids certainly haven't complained. ;-)
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16