Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[SH_]

Good evening.

I have had a head cold for the past 2 days and it is kicking my behind.
You know the kind that you think you feel better until you stand up or actually have to think.
Then it's an all systems shut down and grrrrrrr......
Ain't no body got time for this.

roist, thank you again for your words of awareness and wisdom.
You are right in that I need to stay aware of keeping my d out of the middle of it all. I have been doing a good job of this and her desire to share with me I think was just to get it off her chest. I have found both d18 and d6 are sharing random bits of info in there own way.
I do hear them and then gently change the subject. But a good reminder.
The IC sessions for d18 have been good to allow her to discuss these things there.

I appreciate your thoughts also on the bridges and not burning them.
This is something that I have thought on.
Oddly I feel a strong desire to just focus on myself and create the person in me that will attract the person I beleive that I desire to be partners with and build that wonderful relationship that I am afraid I had given up hope on many years ago.
Almost as if I have been given a second chance to get to be the me that I truly am and want to be and be with the person that will love and cherish me.
But I get way ahead of myself.
My goal is to get to know who I am, what I am capable of being and create what it is that I want to attract first in myself.
But, I will not burn bridges. Because that is the higher part of myself that I want to be.

Mach1 my friend.
Lines....
Hmmmm.....

I am doing well in spite of this cold.
Just feel drained and like there is a dark shadow of depression creeping around the far edges of my mind....
But I am aware and choose not to let it advance...
Just am praying for energy to keep pushing forward.

Enjoyed my evening with both my girls in spite of not feeling well.

I did speak with my L yesterday and it appears that the case for d that was filed at the end of April was dismissed because she and her L did not.follow up on things.
I think she is a low priority as she has refused to pay for much more than the minimum. My l mentioned something like I had paid more and had the part of the work done that we should have so we just wait on them now.
She has mentioned nothing.
She can barely acknowledge my presences when we have to see each other for exchange of my d6.......
Does it bother me
Maybe....
But I choose to not let it.

Don't fight darkness - bring the light, and darkness will disappear. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi