Me and my 2 daughters

[Irish M]

what I read/pick-up in your post(s) is the love, care & consideration you express openly for your Ds and believe this will always see you, and them, through.

Hi HTM , loving them and making sure they come out of this with the proper tools to deal with lifes ups and downs is my main goal. Yes it gives me so much in return from them because i see them happy and safe. I am one of the lucky ones. I still wish it was different for them but they have told me , " we are better off"

As you travel the path, you'll notice more and more of the people who are in crisis.

Hi Job
funny you say that. I see it everyday. At first i thought it was just my mind making excuses for peoples bad behavior. But when i see someone i know very well act in a way that is not rational and is hyper narcissistic. I dig deeper and see that they all suffered some sort of trauma in their youth. They were all spoiled brats ,no love just spoiled with money and toys and never heard the word no. Single mom or dad as parents and their parents jumped from OP to OP. I guess our society has created a real mess.

Gwen ,thank you. :-) It is no easy task, especially girls. Bra shopping and feminine hygiene products were kinda awkward for me in the beginning. But now its easy as 123. I buy the feminine hygiene products with no issues. And the bras, I just stay outside in the jeep and send them in with my credit card.. I think they are happier that was as well. lol

I totally get it about the healing and not being ready for any R. I’m kind of slow in the process, and I’ve been there longer that you are. Even though I don’t have that kind of extreme of MLS to deal with (no knows OW 4 years into it, WOW!), I’m not quite ready for an new R.

Hi Bright :-)
a new R will present itself in time. I am not one to force it. In the past i went from girlfriend to girlfriend. I guess i was one that couldn't be alone. Currently i share my bed with no one. Ok my dog when there is a thunder storm lol. I am at a great place. Finding my inner peace. I can say that i have never felt better about myself.

Hi Jack
thanks for coming around. I've read your posts on several other LBS pages and its nice to have you here. You have a big heart.
Since you asked about Vegas.

My first time there. A lot hotter than back home. I had a day of work and 2 days of play. I'm not a gambler but i did set aside 50$. It lasted me 30 mins .lol was up 75$ but somehow bet the bank and lost it all with one push of the button.

If there was a city that attracted addictions and mental illness, Vegas was it. From the Elvis imitator picking a fight with a street performer over a cigarette to the guy sitting at the machine next to me crying because he was afraid to go back to his room out of fear from his wife. You see he spent all their vacation cash on the slot machines. Maybe an act thinking i'd give him some money. He'd probably put it back in the machine anyway. I am no enabler.

Lots of drunk people at 3am. I am Irish so I can hold my own. lol
One guy, nicely dressed, drunk as a skunk. Couldn't for the life of him remember where his hotel was. I asked him what was outside his hotel. Water fall, pirate ship, restaurant, statues... his answer was " all i remember is slot machines". I guess he will eventually find it when he walks the strip until 9am and sobers up.

I did hook up with some suppliers who are Vegas experts. Showed me the hot spots and where the great food was.

All in all. I slept 3 hours per night and had a blast.

I was so happy to be back on the plane to see my girls. They were safe and sound at my parents so I didn't worry once.

if i go back one day. it will be the dessert, grand canyon and area 51. I'll leave the strip to the addicts.

Life is good

Irish

[BrightFuture]

Hi Irish, I’m glad you had some fun in Vegas!

I am Irish so I can hold my own. Lol

– hahaha! I’m Russian, and I can hold my own too! I’m not a gambler, but I enjoyed the festivities and shows when I was there on my B-day! I think Vegas gives you a feeling of a completely different reality. It is great to be away from your real life for a couple of days, in the world of entertainment, fun and fantasy. As long as you don’t lose your head and your life savings, LOL. And it seems like you didn’t!

I’m glad you had a good time in Vegas, so much needed retreat for you. And your girls were safe with your parents. One thing I leant in this journey is that family matters. Family that supports you! You have a great family, Irish! Take care!

[twinmom]

Vegas was my first solo vacation. I went when my H left me while pregnant just over two years ago. I needed to get away and didn't want to go somewhere that would be family after family & remind me of my situation. I went for three days & although I was pregnant so no alcohol it was great. I missed H but learned to have fun on my own. Ended up getting sun burned on my front side with a line down my legs & arms because I was too pregnant to flip over and lay on my stomach. It was pretty funny looking!

I'm so glad you had fun and I commend you for how you handle the "female" stuff with your daughters. They are going to be able to handle ANYTHING!

[job]

I'm glad you had a good time in Vegas and knew when to fold it and walk away from the gambling. It can be so exciting and people can get caught up in that excitement and lose everything. You will have to make plans to return and visit the sights that the area offers at a later time. Mother Nature has a way of painting the land in each and every state to make the world beautiful.

I'm sure that your daughters were happy to have you back home. I think you are doing a great job in raising "girls". It's not easy...but you are handling it very, very well.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Ahh but the strip is where all the interesting people are. : )

Thank you for your kind words.

[Irish M]

Just bought myself a nice new pair of shoes and got me a haircut
I am happy :-)

Only thing was my hairdresser bumped into XW

When she started talking about her interaction with XW I was about to tell her to stop. That I don't want or need to hear about her. Not my concern.

But she was faster than me and said the one topic that stung me like a bee. My girls

She started out saying that my XW looked sad. lol most victim like. That she misses the girls so much. That she writes to them often and they are avoiding her because she left their dad. Me

My hairdresser knows about my situation. I mean who better to open up to but your hairdresser right. I'm not a bar guy so no bartender to empty my thoughts out onto.

She also knew the old W.

So my hairdresser says while my XW was playing victim she noticed that she couldn't make eye contact. She had this lost look like she was in some other kind of reality. The only advice she gave my XW was . Follow and listen to your heart.
My ex answers . "That's what I'm doing" and walked off.

My hairdresser said she looked almost normal. Couldn't tell that she hadnt seen her kids in over a year. Hid her sadness well.

I told my hairdresser next time just say . Show me those letters and emails. That she will deliver them personally. I'm sure my XW will answer. Oh , I don't keep them. Deleted.

That old story is still hers and going strong Unbelievable but it is what it is. She's still far off into the land of lala and coucou's

Irish

[job]

Hey, I'm glad you got a new pair of shoes and a haircut! Sorry you had to hear about the xw. She's still visiting the land of unicorns and faeries. Oh, they so love to play that poor me, I'm the victim song to anyone that will listen. I'm sure your hairdresser just gave her a look that let her know she was on to her.

Well, I'm keeping her in my thoughts and prayers and hopefully one day she'll wake up and discover that the unicorns and faeries left the building a long time ago.

Take care of yourself and those two beautiful daughters!

[CaliGuy]

Irish ... glad to hear you are still on the tracks and staying strong regardless. Thankfully I do not hardly ever bump into the same circle type people, another blessing I have not thought of as it would be awkward at best but I think you handled it well.

Stay strong my friend.

[Irish M]

Why is it when it rains MLC it pours

After my interaction with my hairdresser I get this message via FaceBook
My daughters daycare worker when they were in pre school sends me a link of my XW

My XW works for the local paper and they wrote an article about her.
She adopted a kitten. Her second one
She says its a shame that these animals are being abandoned. It's 2016 and this still happens

I'm like What The F...
She abandoning the kids is ok but stray cats affects her

Wow

I asked my friend why send me this. I am not interested in her life. I'm happy she's doing a good thing but at the same time it sickens me. She hasn't seen her kids for over a year and what, saving kittens is going to make her a good person?

She apologized and just thought I'd like to see what she's up to.
I said nope , and good night

Guess I need to filter some FaceBook friends out of my life.

[job]

Yea, they do some really crazy things in crisis. Adopting pets, leaving pets behind, leaving children behind, raising the OP's children, etc. Apparently she wanted some recognition and this was a good way to go about it. Maybe she was lonely, but whatever the reason, you didn't need to know about it.

Yep, time to filter out your FB friends. The friend may not have realized that you didn't want to know things and thought he/she was doing was keeping you abreast of your xw's antics. I'm glad you advised this friend not to do it again. They really don't stop to think about all that we've gone through, but once you set them straight, they usually don't do this kind of thing again.

Hang in there!