It’s hard to wait and wait – never knowing if all of the waiting is in vain. People who have waited in vain regret it. They wish they dropped the whole foolishness a long long time ago. Other people wait an awful long time, and eventually their patience bears fruit.
You’ll never know which category you’re going to fall into.
Some of the analogies that have been posted to you may be helpful if you want to alleviate your pain, but for me, there’s a big difference between packing in a job you don’t like, and packing in your marriage (sorry, LL).
I’ve been accused of victim mentality. I’ve been told that I’m a great guy, and that I could easily find someone else. I’ve been told that if my love for my W hurts me so much, then why not just stop loving her? If love is a choice, then logically, it goes both ways. Either my W can start loving me, or I can choose to stop loving her.
Perhaps that’s the ultimate 180. But to be honest, KAW, I think the past 25 years are too deeply ingrained in me. I honestly don’t believe that putting all of that behind me would make me happier. I’m not happy, KAW. Make no mistake about that. But I also know that I wouldn’t be happier if W left the house. She thinks I would. “Out of sight, out of mind,” I guess. But she’s not a goldfish that I can just flush down the toilet and get a new one.
Sorry, KAW. I’m rambling a bit. Not sure where I’m trying to go with this. I guess that ultimately, if CAW chooses to leave you, then you have three choices. Fight it, support it, or simply let her do what she has to do and disagree with it. It takes two to decide to marry. It only takes one to split.
My choice was to disagree. W thinks the “right” thing to do is to split up. I simply told her that I don’t agree.
