Maybe that's a boundary that you have to lay down for her. Tell her you will work with her on essential parenting issues, such as health, education, financial support, etc., but all three of you are not going to spend time together.
At least that would be my boundary. Yes, I can attend the same school plays and picnics. But we are not going to go out to dinner, go on vacations, hang out at parks.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final