Trying to detach - part deux

[Cherry]

Coly, I'm glad you have something fun planned in for you and D at the weekend. This will for sure help you.

This is a hard situation, and we have all kinds of twists and turns along the way. I see the list you made above about what you like about your h. Surfer did the opposite, and I found that helped me. It was a list of what I didn't like about wh. Separating the two people helped. They aren't our h's anymore, those men don't seem to exist, they've been replaced by the wayward. Focussing on his characteristics currently helped me to focus that he isn't the man I married, and that I wouldn't want him the way he is right now. Not to sound harsh, but we don't.

Wrt worrying about loosing that love, I wouldn't worry too much about that. What held me back for a very long time was the fear of loosing him. After seeing how far he was willing to take things last week, I kinda dumped that feeling. I realised I had already lost him, and I had a thought over what I wanted for me and my children. I don't want to live in fear he would repeat this if the necessary work isn't done and he realises his contributions to the fall of the marriage. I also don't want to live a life with a man who has no respect or does not love me.

When I started to step further away from him, he has become more of the persuer. Although he is starting to show a few positive steps, I'm keeping my distance still until he does a sharp 180 and starts to realise where he contributed to this. It's hard, it truly is. But you'll get there, just keep taking one step at a time. We are all here to hold you up, and if you want to vent or rant or whatever. We are here for you as a safe place