Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

Thanks for the response, ForGump. On your question re if it was really all about his marriage, why does it have to be surreptitious, I asked him about that. He said he definitely WAS trying to be surreptitious about things with respect to his W, because they're in even more dire shape than our marriage is, he views everything these days in terms of Hail Marys, and he didn't want his W to know he was getting help from our mutual friend. So there's some "infidelity" type stuff going on there, at least in that direction. With respect to the other direction and my W, he falls back on the point that he didn't have any idea she was really doing anything to reach out or get help or advice w/r/t our marriage, and that's why he didn't tell me. I still think it's maybe not entirely kosher. Keeping my eyes open on this but, honestly, I'm so F-ing tired at this point that I just don't find myself even wanting to run it all down. He knows how I feel (I made very certain of that), and the contact will stop (at least on this level), or it won't, I'll eventually find out it didn't stop, and I'll be down not only a W but also a best friend. Cest la vie.

On your point re no more MBR, I've tried to tell myself the same thing. Things weren't getting any better when she was still in the bed. Maybe this way she'll get some space I wasn't physically able to give her and it will help in some way. At the very least, I've slept better the last four nights than the large majority of nights over the last 2.5 years. That can only help, too. Exhaustion sets in, you know?