Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 4)

[JRuss]

I'd be interested in people's thoughts on desire. Is it actually possible for this to be rekindled in someone who had it -- at least some number of years in the past? Or is all of this already fatal? My W seems to have determined that there are only two possible paths: (1) stay married and be unattracted and unhappy, or (2) divorce and possibly be happy. I've tried as many ways as I know how -- BD and otherwise -- to show her or suggest to her that there is a third path (work on the R, try to rebuild something worth having that could be the source of mutual happiness), but I have to admit I'm not sure I'd want to stay in or even work on a marriage where I honestly didn't feel attracted to my spouse.

The hope has to be that the loss of attraction is driven by some as-of-yet unresolved hurt, anger, loss of respect, doesn't it? Because those in theory could be healed, forgiven, etc. But if it's just biological or a matter of "chemistry", how would it ever come back?