Friend copped to having screwed up and not told me, but he says W mainly talked to him about his marriage, not mine. Said she vaguely mentioned "ups and downs" with me but didn't divulge details, didn't ask for advice, and he didn't really even think that much about it. Apologized profusely and sent me (I think) 6 months' worth of cellphone usage showing the times the talked. It was about once a month for 20 minutes or less. He said he thought of it as her being nice supporting him in connection with his troubled marriage and didn't think much of it -- like me, she's been friends with him and his wife for 20+ years.
I'm not sure what I think. If he's being truthful, and I lean toward thinking he is, then W for some reason oversold the nature of their talks. Maybe she wanted to hurt me by driving a wedge between me and my friend?
In the course of talking to her about it over the weekend, I broke DB, and we got into R talk. This never goes well, I know I shouldn't do it, but every 2-3 months or so, I react instead of responding (usually after days of W slowly escalating tension and spoiling for a fight), and off we go.
Net result is she's been in the guest room the last four nights, and I don't expect her back in MBR anytime soon. Or ever, really. Which is a blow. The upside is I'm actually sleeping better without her in there. I had gotten to a point where I'd wake up every night, whatever time it happened, and not ever be able to go back to sleep. I'd sit there listening to her breathe, think about how far over to the edge she's sleeping, etc., wishing things weren't so out of whack, etc. Trying to find a positive in it.
My anniversary is Sunday. She hasn't mentioned it, and I don't expect it to be marked in anyway. Another blow. We used to take a trip every year out of town to someplace cool, just the two of us; as late as last year, even. THis year, I doubt we do dinner or even verbally acknowledge it. What can you do except keep trying to forge ahead?
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
