So .. it has official been a month since my H dropped the bomb. The 'I love you, but not in love with you.' And the " you will always have a place in my heart".
He moved out but is still helping me financially and spending time with our daughter. He is showing classic signs of a MLC -- chatting with a new young girl (denies PA), bought a corvette, changes to clothing / spending habits/ new hobbies, pulling away from me, angry, depressed, he recently lost both his parents, and turned 45 the week before bomb drop.
Since the bomb drop -- I went from the weeping wife begging for her husband to the somewhat strong woman I am today. However, the strength I have is only on the outside. Inside I am crushed and feel like I am dying. Because I can no longer function like this -- I found a professional to talk to. Anyone else do this?
From my 1 meeting -- she has discovered that we are both avoiders and when two avoiders get married -- it always ends in an affair. Yes, I admit that I did sometimes hide my feelings for what I thought was the good of the family. I sucked it up -- and did the responsible thing. I worked hard outside of the home and in the home. I was the only parent that was there for our daughter (helping with homework and attending all her functions). Actually I was the one that spent the most time with her since my H's hobbies (they started about 3 years ago) were very important to him -- and he would do events without us on the weekends. It was more important to do the event than spend time with us.
I also know that the last 3 years (out of 17 together) were rocky. We had deaths in the family, I was really sick and then they found cancer, he switched jobs a few times .. but I thought that what we had was worth trying to save.
I am no longer sure if he is in a MLC or if he is just unhappy. But how do you react when your H tells you he wants to date other woman, enjoys the thrill of flirting with them, but may still want to date you as well .. just dont get your hopes up????
Me: 42 Him: 45 Daughter: 13 ____________________________________ Married 16 Years, Together 17 Years BD: 8/15/16 Moved out: 8/26/16
