I'm glad that your xw continues to allow the children to video chat w/you. As for her telling the children that she wants to do things w/you that may be her way of alleviating any anxiety that they children may have about the situation. However, I continue to find it disturbing that if she is telling them that she doesn't want another man, that should be not something she discusses w/the children, just as I advised you not to discuss it w/them. They are children under the age of 8 and whatever is taking place between you and your xw should remain w/the two of you. The only concern that right now that you both should have is making sure that you both co-parent successfully and be supportive of the children. The children should not be used as pawns w/ bringing and carrying messages back and forth between you and your xw. That's not good.
For now, keep the conversations you have w/your children on them and about them. Relationship talks about you and your xw should not be discussed w/them. The only thing you need to tell them is that both of you love them very deeply and will always be there for them. They need to be reassured that you both are going to be there for them.
Continue to have patience, give her space and time. Continue to work on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
