Thanks, Bright. I feel better today. I did go up to the vacation home once this summer with a friend and enjoyed the day. Problem is, I believe he is up there every weekend using it as his "home" and I haven't been able to go during the week due to school and now, work. I've considered bringing up usage dates at mediation. But in reality, he bought that house (literally) with Bubbles. Bad feelings obviously involved in seeing her stuff there. I really did the majority of fix-it work on it while he has been very diligent about keeping up with the yard work. None of the things that I know needed to be fixed had been done when I was there last. I would feel the need to work on it. I'm probably better off thinking of it as gone. I just need to get over it all...and yes, that will take time.
I'm not going to do anything til after mediation, but I'm wondering after this latest Instagram issue if I should burn bridges? I can't ask everyone caught in the middle to not post pictures of their wonderful weekends or time spent at the v-house. I feel horrible that I brought it up to my D once after she was there and did the same. A few of the office ladies who I do things with have posted pics of the view with just the dock in the picture and I was fine, but if I see his boat or Bubbles' boat I get that punched in the gut feeling. I've considered just putting up a notice on FB telling people that if they are local I will be deleting them from my FB because they have my phone number and can contact me any time if they want to know what's up (and vice versa). Then leaving it up for a few weeks and then following through. I no longer value those people who can't take the time to check in on me or call on their own without me initiating a call. It would just revert back to what I intended it to be...a means to share life with my friends and family that are out of area. I would still keep my business page and Instagram for art purposes, though.
This whole thing takes up too much thought and time. Even when I try to not have it do so! It just pops in in weird ways and intrudes into my thoughts. Blehhhh.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I'm glad you are feeling a little better today, Cil. I get it, it stinks, you kind of wish people weren't so selfish in their postings.... However, they don't realize what they are doing and how it affects others.
I had a "friend" actually host a Halloween party at my old house and posted pictures of my h with his arms around a girl. Double whammy. It's almost been a year but it still makes me sick. I get wanting to burn bridges with these so called "friends".... I really do.
I wish you all the best in your next mediation appt. You still seem calm and collected. I hope all goes well.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Feyth, that's awful. It is a double whammy, for sure.
It really does help to vent on here, though. And hear from others who understand the crazy, awful, mixed up feelings involved. In trying not to think about H and let go, I'm creating my own little safe H free world. But our lives were so intertwined and or "big city" so small, it really isn't. Its almost like I see a unicorn run into my living room when my "old" life peeks in through social media or those random run-ins at the market. It throws me off my game.
I still end up thinking of him. I still wonder what happened. I own my behavior, but wonder why he held his feelings in "so as not to hurt my feelings" and why he didn't insist on some sort of counseling; for him, for me, or for both, before giving up.
I just guess I'll keep trying and moving on day by day. Its getting better, easier. It will get better still. It has to, right?
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
I second what Feyth posted. Sending you positive thoughts and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thank you for stoping by. I wish you all the best for your mediation. To answer your question about counselling I think men have a view that it's only for crazy people, and as our H don't see them as doing nothing wrong, they feel they don't have a problem. With my H we attended marital counselling, it didn't work because at the time H was involved with OW ( it was early days in their relationship) but I didn't know about her at the time. I guess H went along to say that we tried but I guess he forgot to mention that it wouldn't work because he was already involved with her! Thinking of you xx
Good luck for your mediation meeting today ciluzen! You are an awsome person and no matter what crazy your H throws at you today you can handle it. Thinking of you, hugs and kisses xxx
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
Please let us know that you are okay. It's never easy, but it is definitely another step forward. We are all sending positive thoughts your way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
