Quote: I believe that OM does not want the A to develop into a deeper R as she hopes it would lead. Boy that didn’t quite come out sounding good, bet in essence it seems to be true. I would imagine it to be the truth as well, after all who would wait that long? uhm well that didn't come out right then did it. She wants to believe her true happiness is being with OM. Since they don’t to get to spend much time with each other, it hasn’t really been able to develop past the infatuation. will it ever? My h's a had been going on for a year before I discovered it and continued for several months thereafter and had I not put my foot down about it and some what forced them into a psuedo reality I don't believe I would still be married today or at least I doubt that ow would be gone. However, in the past two years, she has received hints that he may not turn out to be all she is making of him. hints aren't always enough...gee, I'd tend to think the biggest hint would be his willingness to continue an extramarital affair with her for so long. There have been times where he has tarnished his armor, while I have been there for her whenever she has needed it. in the end though does that still make you the knight? or simply the court jester? So it seems as times I have been able to reverse the tables. yes it would appear that way At the same time tho, I think OM is keeping his options open so to speak (really do want to look to closely at that statement as he has a reputation as a womanizer), and leads her on enough to keep her wanting more, but really doesn’t want any serious ties. seems to me she is doing the very same to both of you. (OK, my head is getting muddled again, time to move on.) understandable.
Quote: It is my hope that on day, that she will realize what she is trying to cling on to is a fantasy, and that all along what she is looking elsewhere for is looking for is right here in Kansas (Wizard of OZ reference). That is my hope for you too. But I just don't see it happening while she doesn't HAVE to make a choice it could take several more years for her to wake up from this fantasy. I still believe that CAW is still vacillating between her fantasies and accepting she can find her happiness in her present reality and can’t seem to make a commitment to either direction. So basically, I can only sit and wait, while keep being the best me I can. that's but one option but how much more of her vaccilating can't you bear?
So there are some positives floating around both generated from you and directed toward you from CAW don't discount them even though it seems I am.
I do have to ask though KAW, why do you keep snooping? I can only assume that w didn't hand you these letters and cell phone bills and if she did leave them out in the open for you to find well then perhaps she's screaming out for you to put your foot down and stand up for what you believe in vocally. Your actions cleary show her that your love and commitment to her are real but perhaps your turning your cheek to her blatant disrespect of you is sending another message.
sorry to sound so negative about things, it is not that I see things as negative I'd just love for your suffering to end (ya ya I know well intentioned friends) and feel that a possible lrt may stop the constant flowing of the damn tides.
