Taking my first sip of the water

[ATPeace]

Ok I want to stop and ponder in SH post for a while

Ok SH you have nailed many things on the head when you say I will bold what stands out to me from your post

G, c'mon now. Things are not surprisingly good all of a sudden and you know this. Just 4 days ago you write how it is all over and the only way out is to move.

I am not trying to be harsh, but you need to see the harsh reality of things if you are ever going to get moving forward.

You know the rule that is shared here for all the LBS about believing nothing that the WAS/WS says and only half of what they do?

Do you know that the same rule applies for the WAW/WW as it relates to what the LBS says and does?

They do not believe anything you say and only half of what you do.
Ghost, you are not doing anything to change, and all of your talking is simply that. It is just empty talk.

I will work on my weight
I will give my W more space to live the life that she wants to live
I will be the best dad possible

I need to accept that my W may choose to meet other guys and that this is a choice
I want to show my W a new ghost and I will do this

Do you know how many times you have posted this in the past year?
What have you actually done to follow through on any of these commitments and actually show your W that you will change.

My friend, I don't want to become a WAF someday for you(Walk away friend), but I can honestly see what the challenge and stress is for your W.
I am guessing that she has tried to express this to you in a number of ways, but you are not understanding what you need to do.

Desperate measure for desperate times.
She is still living with you.
Go do something to help your cause and do it now.

Go see a professional that can help you with your circling thoughts. your inability to commit and any other mental and emotional challenges that you require professional help for.

Ghost.

I fear time is running short for you as you have had years of knowing that things were going down the wrong road.
You need guidance and you need to understand all that is DB and DR, but you must change first.

MWD speaks to to WAW and tells them to give the LBH a chance once they have that come to Jesus moment at the BD.
She says this because she says that people can change and in her experience she has seen some wonderful changes......

Are you going to put in what it takes to change my dear friend?

I am sorry if this stings, but I desperately want to see you succeed.
You know.
Horse
Water
Drink?
Do what you must do......

Ok so I have read SH post quite a few times and the nail has been hit a few times I know from previous conversations with my W that
1) she felt taken for granted
2) she felt a huge lack of equality I did not do my share with the kids and arround the house
3) she felt that I did not and I do not think enough for myself
A good example is making meals she has told me that I do not do my share of cooking and even when I do I often ask her to decide what we have she feels that she has to make all the decisions

I talk a lot about how I can change and how I want to to change yet I am still not doing enough with my weight

So SH you make some very accurate statements and I still am missing what I should be doing

So she wants to be in separate houses ...believing nothing of what she says ....then this is not really true she wants me to pull my finger out and be the man she first fell in love with do my share and step up. Should I start with this ? Should I treat her like my W still ? Or do I re read sandies rules and start again at the beginning

Thank you

Ghost