H filed for divorce - is it too late?

[Zues126]

Speaking on behalf of RDS...his DB coach advised him to write a letter apologizing for his contributions to the breakdown of the marriage. My DB coach did the same, and I still have a copy of the letter I sent.

In his case WAW used this letter in court to try to provide evidence that he was emotionally abusive and she had to leave, or along those lines.

In my opinion this is primarily a betrayal of trust, as I seriously doubt this letter influenced much of the outcome unless there are things RDS is keeping from us that he shared in writing with XW. But WAW told him she only followed the advice of her lawyer. And while I don't agree with her lawyer advising this, nor do I grant WAW amnesty for not vetoing it, I can certainly see how this could happen. Point is, this is mostly an emotional betrayal, not such a legal risk in my humble opinion. After all, while the letter may state some things he contributed to the breakdown of the marriage, it's very existence demonstrates he is a loving, committed husband with oodles of character.

The key is to let go of expectations. They have to go. Even when it comes to privacy. It's hard. I wrote a 7 page letter to my XW one time bearing my soul to her at one point during our M, and I later found out she forwarded it to her friends and her mom and asked 'what am I supposed to do with this?' I never had felt more betrayed. I compared it to if I had video recorded her making love and played it at my friend's house while a bunch of us drank beers and laughed. It was brutal. So I get the betrayal. But in the end we have to drop expectations and just act the way we believe we should because it's right, not because we think it will be appreciated, reciprocated, respected, or rewarded.

Do tell us how the session went and hang in!