You will not think about the Affair every day I promise. It will fade from memory if you let it. Even buttons lose their connection to the source after some time.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Hi Mowgli, I appreciate all you've said. I'm almost to the one year BD mark, but only about 5 months into the reconciliation. I still think about the ow way too often and I resent the headspace she seems to be squatting on in my brain.
And thanks, Jack, for reminding us to every day give them a reason to love us. It's not an easy process, this piecing, and just like the name implies, we place one piece where we think it goes, but maybe it doesn't quite fit so we try somewhere (something) else. Trial and error.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
If you are piecing, and reconciling then the advice is going to be very different than most DB tactics.
Here you are able to talk about your relationship, you have to, here you have to set boundaries with consequences. Here you get to argue. Here you get to say I love you. You get to talk about the OW you get to talk about how you feel and what he is doing to reassure you. As long as both of you are working on reconciling there are a ton of things you get to do that they cannot do or advise you to do in New Comers.
Its a whole different ball game, with different rules.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I just read one of your posts in Newcomers, and I would like to apologize for assumptions about genders. Please accept my apology it was made in ignorance.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Thanks for reminding me what this process it and what it's about. Jack, you are right. It's important to talk about those things, and it's needed here, where in newcomers, the advice is to focus on you, here we are focusing on the R.
Hi mowgli, thanks for coming back to the board and updating us. When you started to reconcile did W move back in with you. My R seems to be stop / start and I'm not sure if it is genuine or not.
M 10, T 18 M: 36, W: 35, D: 8, S: 6 EA: Oct 12 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: Aug 15 Separated: Sep 15 Miss you: Jun 16 Aug 16: Dating (!) Oct 16: Selfishness returns... currently: disgusted
Hi mowgli, thanks for coming back to the board and updating us. When you started to reconcile did W move back in with you. My R seems to be stop / start and I'm not sure if it is genuine or not.
Mine didn't, not right away. Part of it was contract on apartment. Part of it was I didn't want her to without some solid evidence that our marriage was her priority.
SRT if you are reconciling why not make a thread in here?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
Hi Jack, tbh I'm not sure what is going in my sitch, my W keep cycling and just when I think we are making progress she goes back into the shadows.
However I am pretty certain she is in MLC, having admitted it (which she now denies!!!) and made all the classic noises, done the standard things etc.
M 10, T 18 M: 36, W: 35, D: 8, S: 6 EA: Oct 12 ILYBINILWY: Jan 15 BD: Aug 15 Separated: Sep 15 Miss you: Jun 16 Aug 16: Dating (!) Oct 16: Selfishness returns... currently: disgusted
