Drop the Rope VII

[roist]

Sorry, foggy dew

[roist]

I noticed you have taken a step back from here.Thst can be a good thing at times. It is good to focus on other stuff.

I hope all is well with you my friend and that when you are ready you will give us an update.Even a short one if you can do short!!!!

Best wishes

[roist]

Hope all OK with you. Have s good weekend.

[Zephyr]

Thank you Roiste, you have helped keep me in check so many times i can't even tell you. I am sorry I have not been there for you (or for anyone really).

i read, to keep up. i have just not had the energy to post. i am spending a ton of energy on the rest of my life, making my way forward...just out of gas when it comes to this.

i have a HUUUGE weekend coming up. I have worked very hard at my roller derby training and in just under 6 months going from not knowing how to skate, i have earned a spot on the roster for a game this weekend. i am scared and excited all at the same time.

Wish me luck

[roist]

No need to apologise. Plus you have almost written as much on my thread as me.

Your angle differs from many here and where most see cake eating, selfishness, conflict you see through the pain and see opportunitiesor at least potential opportunities. Don't lose that.

I am sorry you are out of steam. I assume that is mainly due to a stagnation in your situation. I wish that was otherwise. Truly I do. But you will bounce back as you always do. Taking a break from here is sometimes necesary for our own mental health. We have seen many old friends fall be the wayside. There is no shortage of newbies. Yet we are still here fighting a long battle against the odds.

Most lbs here don't have much choice in staying together. We are lucky to have that choice. We are still with our wives because WE CHOSE to do so. Many could argue that we are wrong to accept such a M/R. I don't think it is that simple and being RIGHT is over ratted! I think we have made the right choice.

Without this site and you in particular I would have probably not being so patient. I thank you for that.

A month or so ago you madke a comment on my thread about how I could be depicted as a neglectful H/dad who walks away if I choose that course. This struck me but frankly I am not concerned about what others think. Plus I would be deciding to not live like that as opposed to not staying together. How I live within our couple/family is another choice. I accept it will be however I let it be. Anyway to get back to why it struck me and why I mention it here. I got the feeling this was something you believe in your situation. Am I wrong?

I only dropped by to wish you well this weekend. Congratulations for making the team. Enjoy your first derby. Let us know how it goes.

[roist]

At the moment I am amongst other stuff checking out options for new activities to do. I looked up roller derby but the local team was just for girls. Guys are starting to do it here but not widespread yet.

Anyway how was your first competition?

[Zephyr]

Hey buddy, this weekend was amazing. I can't really describe all of the emotions I went through on saturday. there was so much that went on, but hest highlights...

had my S11 soccer game early...most of the kids never played together so I had a lot of effort getting kids where they needed to be consistently to get them the tight vixtory. I know winning isn't everything, but getting the kids to have fun while we do this is so important to me too.

then I got ready for my bout. I had nearly 20 of my close friends and family show up to root me on. I was nervous beyond belief as time got closer. had to do a bunch of set up and check in type stuff for other teams. during warmups I even fell down in front of my brothers.

so I sat down after warmups and just said, there thst was embarrassing enough don't have to worry about that any more

I was anxious as I had no idea how much I was going to actually play. most fresh meat only get a few jams in during first bout...sort of to get indoctrinated and get a feel for things. I didn't want all these people to have come out to see me play 3 minutes of an hour long game...I would have been mortified, but that was a risk.

during the match there were a few injuries that alloted me more time on the floor, in all there were probably 15 -16 JAMS that i got to play and over 20 minutes. no penalties, no injuries, played hard got some good blocks and made a few pretty good hits.

I felt elation and happiness that had been a while. I was telling a friend that it was probably one of my top 10 most satisfying days of my life with all that went on in preparations and the like. Here I am, the kid that got picked last in virtually everything I did growing up, to being able to compete at this level against people much larger and stronger than me. I have been on cloud 9.

if your looking around you could probably figure out team name...only mens team in chicago. we do have a Facebook page too

I have to run to get the kids ready for school. I will write you later this week.

thank you for checking in on me.

mark

[roist]

20 people went just for you. And that isn't even the best part of your day. I am happy for you. Thanks for sharing it with us. I just might check out the next one on the net!!

I am delighted for you. Well done.

Best wishes for the week.

[roist]

How was the October fest?

I'm browsing deeply in the threads/info over in the mlc section.I know you did this a long time ago. Anyway long story short, I have an even deeper understanding of your path and wanted to congratulate you (yes again!!) For having followed that path for so long.

Maybe it would be easier to walk away. Heck maybe that would even save our situations. In the beginning many lbs cling to their M for the wrong reasons. Over time those reasons ( such as fear ) fade and the lbs no no longer NEEDS to stay but CHOOSES to stay. I respect your choice and it has: inspired me manys a time when I needed it.

Sometimes I believe the WAS needs to go before they can really cone back. Being an active choice rather than a passive resignation seems to occur in such cases. This crisis will take a certain time to run its course regardless. So holding the family unit together is a huge bonus we should be super grateful for. I know you appreciate this but sometimes we need to hear stuff we already know.

The price is high for this but if we save our M it is worth it. If not as long as we are using that time productively it is not wasted. You have not wasted your time during this process. You have grown. Your life is fuller. Your boys are sheltered from a breakup.

I probably posted this as much for me as for you, but I wanted to thank you again for your presence, help and inspiration on my journey.

Best wishes my friend.

PS someone has to keep up your tradition of long posts.Luckily I just dropped by to ask how your weekend went and what you have this weekend?

[Zephyr]

Thank you for thinking of me.

Last week i was really expressing gratitude for my Derby support. I reached out to each person who came to see me and thanked them with a call / series of notes. it was nice to hear feedback from them all. it was absolutely awesome for them to have been there.

The Octoberfest was a small crowd but lots of fun. Lots of laughter, good food & beer and even a little dancing. WIN!!!

This weekend is chaulked full already, HS football, (2) soccer games, roller derby (practice) and local Beer Festival. it is within walking distance to the house, so Yay for that!

Sorry i've not been posting uch. i feel like i've become a bit unraveled lately, so thank you for helping remember why i am doing this...honestly there are lots of days i question my own sanity.

Have to run, try to enjoy your weekend!!!