WW Starting to talk again. Not sure if I want her.

[Cherry]

Ha RSG I admit I kinda agree on the coparenting thing. It's almost, but not quite as bad as that whole Chris Martin and Gwynth Paltrows "consciously uncoupling" I mean wtf, just say your divorcing- don't wrap it up to sound like some in new trend.. Anyhow.

But yup, agree with RSG. I have dealt with many situations in my life that I had to deal with all at once because I suppressed my feelings so hard I locked them away thinking it made me less of a person or weak to cry. Maybe I still do it to a degree. But I had a good cry last week so I think I let a lot out. The next day, I was calmer, had more clarity and accepted this what happening and to step another step away from him.

We all do want our spouses back to a degree I think. But like you've said to me, not like this we don't. Even if they ran back now, without the work, we'd all be a tad resentful for what we've been through that it'd never work. I know deep down I do love my wh, of course I do. But I also know he's hurt me deeply.

I hope swimming was good anyway. Being around these children bring us true joy and love. I remember the second my S was handed to me, I got such a rush of love, a kind I've never felt in my life, the kind that you know you'd do anything to protect them, hell I think I'd even kill for him. This is what I'm focused on for the next few months, carrying this little one and being handed a little person that right this minute is unaware of how loved he/she really is. Enjoy them, every minute. You are an absolutely amazing dad, truly. And so hands on, not every dad is like that, so be proud of yourself. You're protecting them so well and not for a second making them feel they are unloved