Have you thought about giving your wife compliments on things she does and how she is dressed. Compliments go a long way when you have someone who is in crisis. I know you probably don't think she deserves to be recognized for doing some good things...but sometimes, it goes a long way. Maybe she is fishing for your reaction since she continues to bring up the om, and then again, maybe she wants you to take notice of her, as a woman and not just the mother of your children.
As for the cub scout meeting, someone would have had to stay at home w/the youngest child unless you got a sitter. You do realize she could have been out having a grand old time and left you holding the bag for both kids. Some do that.
Of course, the women at the cub scout meeting don't remind you of your wife any more...because she's not them. Right now, she's most likely in crisis and guess what...your wife is like the mirror image of her old self. She's acting like a teenager at times and that's part of the journey for her. The feelings she had for you are stuffed very, very low into her soul right now because the issue stuff has come to the surface. I know this journey is difficult, but you've got to stop expecting her to act a certain way.
Learn to listen to what she's saying. If you can that, you'll learn more about where her head is at at this time. You have to sift through the mumbo jumbo and believe me, they do love to talk and brag about the stuff they are doing. I get it, you don't want to hear it, but this is one of the keys that we need to learn...to be better listeners and dig deeper for more patience.
I agree...if you can't find anything nice to say, then don't say anything. The more you point out about the way you are living right now, the more guilt you are piling on her. You want to make your home a safe place for her to land and hopefully wake up some day and realize that you are the one she wants to stay with. The more negative things that you say to her, the less likely she's going to open up to you.
When in doubt, do nothing, say nothing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
