I know you want and need sex and it's frustrating to you. I hear ya.
But you had mentioned in another post that you want her to initiate and you want to feel wanted. I'm afraid you can't have all of that in one shot:) Her way of initiating was saying "let's have drunk sex" That is what she is able to offer your right now.
Coconut is kind of right. I could not initiate sex with my exH. It was a huge complaint of his. I finally did figure out why I couldn't. besides criticizing me out of the bedroom all the time, which made me so nervous in the bedroom, I froze. But he did not fill up my love tank at all. I had told you it was all pressure and he drained my tank rather than fill it. I did for a while think it was just me and I had no sex drive. Post D relationships have shown me I most certainly do, and I have lost my fear of initiating.
I think you guys really are doing good and are getting close to having that intimacy. But you do set it back with these convos out of frustration. Not going to lie there. It drains her love tank a bit. Keep working on that non-sexual intimacy. I would even suggest much foreplay and no sex. It would show her you just want to be close to her and it would make her comfortable.
And also, remember if she says " come on, lets have drunk sex" That's her inititation!!!
