Life has changed, and I choose to grow from it.

[roist]

SH

I like the new tone to your posts. Stuck you are no longer. (My best Yoda attempt). I like your support network/fanclub too.

I have a few thoughts about one paragraph in all your recent long posts. I am reducing my time on this site so I won't be able to discuss all your great ponderings. Keep pondering and keep sharing. I like reading your s tuff.

Anyway I wanted to chat about the recent conversation between your W and D18. Although it is probably not the case, I would be concerned about your D being a sounding board for the woes of two divorcing parents.I think it us great ye both can discuss such things with her. Your D has a lot on her plate and seems to be a caring compassionate young adult. As such she may want to try solve yer problems. She has enough on her plate. You sound like a great dad, so this probably didn't need to be said, but just looking out for you and yours.

As for the content of your W's revelations to D, honestly I think it is great. Leaving you has not improved her life. If anything made it worse. Maybe she us still blaming you but now her happiness has nothing to do with you. She realises that she isn't happy. Given time she will surely realise YOU are not, he cause. That can take a long time but could be starting to happen.

These revelations to D could be for a multitude of reasons including trying to connect with her D. It could also just be a pity party. But maybe.....just maybe...... it was her way of communicating her current feelings to you. She surely knew D would tell you.

I don't want you to dwell on this and definitely don't over analyse it. I thought it merited to be highlighted as those words have often being said by the WAS at their turning point.

I like also that you felt empathy for W without wanting to help/fix her. Stay your path. Concentrate on you.

I know you are no longer waiting for or even wanting a turn around from her. But by mentioning my thoughts I wanted you to give a little thought to this eventuality. I reiterate it could be a long time if ever coming, but maybe being fore warned could help you consider and reconsider your stance/viewpoint.

I am a strong believer in not stressing about crossing bridges that may never come up. But I also believe there is no need to burn such bridges. As long as they remaking intact, we can choose whether we cross them or even approach them again.

I'll take one of those coaching sessions off of your hands!! Joking aside it is great to have two in your pocket for whenever you may need them.

Before going I would echo many posters here on your being a good dad. I don't know many parents who's 18 year old can talk to them about their inner worries and demons.