Long story short she gave up her high paying career when she was laid off and kind of gave up. She took menial jobs after that and for four years she didn't work at all. She just took a job this January where she barely clears minimum wage but it's a job "she loves".
It's like the system punished the person who worked the hardest and rewards the person who took the easy way out.
This is very interesting wording you use. On the one hand, you note how your W found a job that she loves. But at the same time, you call it "menial" and the "easy way out".
I wonder how this attitude carried over into other aspects of your life together.
You bring up a fair point with wording, but I think I understand what he's saying. Oftentimes in dual income families the man is expected to be the provider and the woman's job is considered more optional or discretionary, and in some cases they use this flexibility to pursue hobby type businesses they do for fun and fulfillment as much as for income. Obviously this doesn't apply to every family, and there are contrary examples. But in his case it did apply and I get the distaste.
He decided to give his WAW the gift of pursuing her passions and dreams, so instead of making her grind it out in a corporate job she didn't like, he ground it out in his job working extra long hours so she could do what she wanted, even though it didn't pay as much. Now she can initiate a divorce despite a lack of abuse or infidelity, then demand a large % of his income so he has to keep working those long hours and she can continue to work in jobs that are half hobby half job, all while spending the leisure time he doesn't have to go date new guys and whoop it up. Not to mention that she might be able to get more parental time with the kids that will further increase the amount he has to work and pay while decreasing the time he sees what's left of the family after she has removed his wife and the majority of the time with the kids from him.
It is a raw, raw, raw deal. I don't think this is him being diminishing towards his WAW. It is just calling a spade a spade and dealing with the loss and betrayal.
It's all good though. In the end we can find our own happiness, be appreciative for what we have, and live in a way that allows us to sleep at night.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
