I have an appointment to meet with a therapist tomorrow. I feel like I cannot stop thinking about him ...

He sent me another email today. Stating he is not dating but there is someone he is interested in .. Who is about 18 years younger than him. He has been spending his evenings alone at his new condo or going to dinner at his boss's house only. He says he is trying to find himself. He told me he has been having doubts about our relationship for a few years but could never tell me. He said he wished he could have just done something that would cause me to kick him out -- but he never wanted to hurt me. And there will always be a place for me in his heart and he hopes we can remain friend. I don't know if any of this is truth or lies.

I read the email over and over again just wishing I could yell at him. But I won't give him the satisfaction. Next week he is getting a big bonus at work that we will use to pay off the credit cards he maxed out this summer -- buying new clothes and toys. Then we will start process of a divorce.

Even at our worst moments -- I had faith in us and was willing to fight. I am devistated that he gave up on us and never told me! Never tried to fix us.

I am trying my best to heal, rebuild me, get new hobbies, make new friends -- but I just feel worthless at this moment. I have read the posts and have had people tell me it gets easier -- but right now I am just done. Praying tomorrow morning will be a little brighter.


Me: 42
Him: 45
Daughter: 13
____________________________________
Married 16 Years, Together 17 Years
BD: 8/15/16
Moved out: 8/26/16