Just working the process, but wondering when......

[Coconut]

Cbtdad, I'm not sure if this is going to make sense to you, but i believe that your W may need to feel your closeness without feeling like it's going to upset you if it doesn't turn into sex. I'm going to post something below that was written by a very respected veteran when she was going through her sitch. I'm not going to mention who, but I hope the words from a woman's POV resonate.

"I always seem to have self-esteem problems. Not being intimate with my husband the past decade did not help at all with that issue. However, the thing I beat myself up over was the fact that I knew in my heart that if I had went to him (made the first move) to have sex, he would have done it. Why could I not do that? That was what I kept asking myself. If I really loved him, why could I not make a move toward him? Because I did not really want to have sex! There were times I needed the closeness, but I did not want the sex. So, I began to doubt my love for H."

Work on the bonding, take the pressure away and fill up her love tank with non-sexual intimacy.