I can't figure out how to quote from my phone, but your statement about how people tend to comment how they were affected vs. any acknowledgement that you were going through anything really struck me.
I went through the same thing myself, I was going bald from the stress that I was internalizing.... I actually felt like I was dying in the darkest days of my sitch. All because I was trying to keep on the brave face and not sharing what was really going on. it blew my mind how upset my SIL was that I didn't reach out to her on her bday. Little did she know that I was in such sadness that I didn't know what day it was. More than anything, I wished she (or anyone) could figure out, hey that is so unlike Feyth.... I wonder what's going on? Instead, I got, "how selfish of Feyth. She can't keep her marriage together, her h is unhappy, etc". Uch- people stink sometimes!!!
I don't mean to hijack, I just wanted to let you know that you have my sympathy. Again, now you have this amazing skill to recognize that when someone you care for is hurting.... You can selflessly put your needs aside to help him/her. I don't believe that's an innate skill because we all want to protect ourselves when we feel hurt, but when it becomes developed it can be life changing. I see that compassion in your posts. Keep it up, mleigh!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
