Forgump, I have noticed traits in both my ex and my wh, people who have been through serious troubles in the past. I've done this without even noticing, and it's only recently when I've noticed. I couldn't fix my ex, and I can't fix wh, maybe that theory on women wanting to help/change a man are true.

When I first started this journey about 18 months or so, I set out on making changes. Me and wh were super codependent. We did everything together, barely even saw our own friends as we were just together, constantly. We got married and had a baby quick. And then dynamics changed, I obviously was constantly busy with baby. I feel maybe I made him feel he wasn't needed. When we began working on our r again I tried to keep some time aside to spend time with wh. His main issue has been that I wasn't there to listen to him, I would go into fix it mode and maybe cut him short and try and problem solve. I now realise, he didn't need that- he just needed someone to listen to him. I try to make sure now when he has an interaction, I use validation techniques, I LISTEN, I acknowledge I've heard him, but that's all.

Previously, he had complained that I had become negative and become self conscious, I guess that this was something that began to drain upon him. To tackle this, I went to the doctor who diagnosed me with pnd, I began medication and ic. This is something I've constantly been working on, and I feel I've come on quite far since then.

He's recently said about me being independent. I guess after the first bd, I did. I had to become the person I was to survive. Likewise now, I have to be independent. But I guess I made him feel he wasn't needed (his LL is acts of service). That's a difficult one to try and accomplish now. But I've used my GAL as an opportunity to make him feel he's doing something by looking after s so I can get out by myself. I make sure to thank him for his help/cooperation.

Surfer, never been much of a starwars fan, but I must admit yoga speaks some truth in that clip!

Me 26 H 25
M 4
T 5
Baby born 4/14
BD: 1/15
EA: 2/15
PA: 4/15
reconciling: 4/15
ILYBINILWY- 11/15
ILY-1/16
ILYBNILWY 4/16
ILY 6/16
ILYBINILWY 6/16
Baby due 3/17
BD 8/16