We did talk about the scorekeeping side of things at length. Initially she didn't seem to understand; she was too focused on the task and the "scorkeeping" element. When she finally understood what I was trying to say, we were able to resolve the argument because we could talk about it rationally.
re: thinking about it:
I don't worry about it happening again, I have no fear about it because I know how to handle it if it does; I know I deserve better than that.
Cheating is an awful thing to do to someone and I don't think that's something you ever truly "get over." It's a traumatic experience, no different than PTSD.
we don't "get over it," but we do find ways to process and deal with those thoughts. We find ways to deal with them that are healthy. This isn't something that runs through my mind 24/7, but like anyone else, there are triggers for me that take me back there.
I think you could ask anyone that has found themselves in a situation like this, man or woman, and they would say the exact same thing. You never forget, you just give it less and less headspace. We're ONLY a year out from the start of the whole thing and less into piecing (like 10 months).
If you include hysterical bonding time, we're probably only 6 months into real, true piecing territory, where there is some semblance of normality in our lives.
So yes, I do think about it every day, but I don't think about it every second of every day like I did initially. I don't dwell on it, ruminate it over, and over, and over; It pops into my head, I give it a minute, then I go on with my life. But the point is it's still there every day, it's not something you can sweep under the rug and not deal with because that's when resentment starts to build.
