Amy,
Sadly, yours is not the first WAS here to run away when the LBS has a cancer diagnosis. Sometimes I think it is just a matter of them being too weak to face the fear of losing you. Sometimes I think they were already fooling around and just selfishly don't want the responsibility of caring for a spouse with cancer when they had already started to plan their escape. And some of them were just always narcissists who couldn't be counted on to do anything selfless.

My ex was the last type.......I always knew on some level that I wouldn't be able to count on him if I developed some difficult diagnosis like cancer. Heck, he was barely any help if I got the stomach flu.

My current boyfriend, on the other hand..... I am quite confident that should any medical catastrophe occur, he would be right there with me in the trenches.

The advice I would give you right now:
- your recovery is number one. Stress, lack of sleep, comfort eating.... All are bad for your recovery. You need sleep, exercise, sunshine, and a super healthy diet of fruits and vegetables, organic meats, low carbs (cancer loves sugar). Your attention needs to be focused here, for you and for your daughter. Look up the importance of vitamin D in cancer on grassrootshealth and research metformin and cancer.

- your daughter is number two. You need to be her rock. She will challenge you, both because she's a teen and because you are the "safe" parent to rage against. Don't take it personally.

- having fun is number three. Seriously. I know it sounds ridiculous , but seriously: if you knew for sure that the cancer would come back in five years, would you really want to waste your time on all H's drama? Or would you want to get out there and LIVE? Do some of the great things you always wanted to do? Make great memories with your daughter? Don't wait on your H. Just start living.

- let go or be dragged. Your H may or may not come back in the future, but for right now, just live your life for you and your daughter. Protect yourself financially, get good legal advice. Live your best life. He's actually much more likely to return if you create a great, interesting life for yourself.

- throw out the rose colored glasses. It took me a long time to recognize my ex's narcissism, but everything makes much more sense now. I'm betting that eventually you'll see your H never was quite the great guy you thought he was. Because a great guy wouldn't run away from a spouse battling cancer.