Hey cherry, Why are you wishing him a happy holiday? I just worry you're putting yourself out there too much for him. He gets to treat you like garbage and yet you still wish him well? Sorry for the 2x4 but there's a difference between keeping the peace and going out of your way to him.
(((Cherry)))
I agree. I think it is time you go back to Sandi's rules and basic DB principles. No pursuing behaviors, no initiating contact, no being friends, and start focusing on you and start new holiday traditions without him! You keep telling us that you are stronger and moving forward, but then you quickly turn around and tell us what he is doing/not doing and we start to focus on him again. There is no point in that anymore. He is gone. Let him go.
Of course you are sad to not have him on this holiday, but thinking about that will not serve you any longer. How can you enjoy the holiday without him? Can you and MIL start a new tradition?
Right now WH deserves no attention from you. Honestly, I think when you are even friendly with him, he knows you are sitting there waiting for him and he continues to lose respect for you. You are pregnant with a young child, he completely abandons you and treats you both like garbage, and you still offer friendship and well wishes??? It makes no sense.
He will not come back until 1. he loses you over time and fails with OW on their own journey, 2. he respects you for being strong, independent, and not needing him any longer.
This only happens when you can truly start to detach by focussing on a new life without him. He gets NOTHING from you any longer. Treat him like that nerd in high school who sat there drooling on his calculator and wanted to do all your homework for you. No reason to be rude, but PAY HIM NO MIND!
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
