I know the last few months were rocky and I was still recovering from my thoracotomy / lung cancer -- but I am absolutely miserable right now. At least during my cancer treatment I could trust he doctors. Now I'm just lost.
All my family and friends tell me I'd be better off, and I don't want to be left again, but don't want to be in this place right now in my life. I miss my husband, my best friend, my helpmate. I know I need to get stronger .....
I have joined a support group, but I guess I need to find someone else to talk to bc I don't want to keep rehashing it with the few friends and family I have told. Next month would have been our 17th wedding anniversary and I feel like a spoiled child throwing a tamptrum, but I miss him ...
Hey AmyTx,
Sorry you are here with us. I know it's little comfort to hear, but remember that I and many others here are walking in the same shoes as you. I admire your patience about your sitch and I crave it for myself.
Your comment about your doctors really hit home with me. I can see the difference. When battling your illness, you didn't know what the outcome would be - but with the guidance of your doctors, you knew what to do. There was a plan, there was an established course of action to take. If the course didn't work quite right, the doctors would have an alternate plan. With MLC, your plans for your life might get sidetracked, because you don't know what grenades your H is going to try and throw at you. It's a rollercoaster, there feels like no plan because the MLCer has no plan - even if it sounds like they do.
There's lots of other vets who are great at putting things into perspective (a few of them are cranky), but job is always amazing.
It's great that you have a support group. I'm glad you beat your illness. Hang in there. Keep going. Take your time.
M: 49, W: 45 T: 22 M: 15 S14, S11, S9 BD: Jan '16 W files: Oct '16 D final: June '18
