I'm not upset, you don't need to explain yourself I get what you mean, I would potentially say to wh that he's angered me, however I most probably would not tell him he's a d!ck- that kinda thing would hang about on him.
I'm feeling a bit more zen at the moment. That quote if andrewp's really struck a cord today. That he's in his own crisis, why yes, yes he is. So he can deal with that, while I make sure me and the little people (& mil) are taken care of.
If anger arises, I'll be sure to jot it down to make sure I prevent it from spiking across to him or anyone else for that matter. Then I'll breathe and keep on keeping on.
And surfer, you are more than welcome. Didn't anyone ever tell you that sharing is caring consider it a gift from me to you, written oh so eloquently.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Autocorrect just quite often gets the better of me!
Tiring day today, busy day at work, and feeling rather tired and sickly. Today is a holiday for us, eid. Feels a bit sad that we aren't doing anything to celebrate. Part of this is because I'm working, i also don't feel too much like celebrating. I sent a text to husband, to wish him a happy eid. I got no response back, doesn't surprise me really. Maybe at the weekend I should take my mil and son for a meal as a family, to acknowledge. I'm sure she is hurting herself on this day without her son, she is completely ignoring him. I have spoken to her a few times about this, but she is hurting and dealing with things herself in her own way.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Hey cherry, Why are you wishing him a happy holiday? I just worry you're putting yourself out there too much for him. He gets to treat you like garbage and yet you still wish him well? Sorry for the 2x4 but there's a difference between keeping the peace and going out of your way to him.
I get you T. After I sent it, I kinda questioned myself on it. I think I was in the mindset that I sent the same basic text to most people I knew celebrating. But I did think afterwards that I shouldn't have sent anything to him.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Hey cherry, Why are you wishing him a happy holiday? I just worry you're putting yourself out there too much for him. He gets to treat you like garbage and yet you still wish him well? Sorry for the 2x4 but there's a difference between keeping the peace and going out of your way to him.
(((Cherry)))
I agree. I think it is time you go back to Sandi's rules and basic DB principles. No pursuing behaviors, no initiating contact, no being friends, and start focusing on you and start new holiday traditions without him! You keep telling us that you are stronger and moving forward, but then you quickly turn around and tell us what he is doing/not doing and we start to focus on him again. There is no point in that anymore. He is gone. Let him go.
Of course you are sad to not have him on this holiday, but thinking about that will not serve you any longer. How can you enjoy the holiday without him? Can you and MIL start a new tradition?
Right now WH deserves no attention from you. Honestly, I think when you are even friendly with him, he knows you are sitting there waiting for him and he continues to lose respect for you. You are pregnant with a young child, he completely abandons you and treats you both like garbage, and you still offer friendship and well wishes??? It makes no sense.
He will not come back until 1. he loses you over time and fails with OW on their own journey, 2. he respects you for being strong, independent, and not needing him any longer.
This only happens when you can truly start to detach by focussing on a new life without him. He gets NOTHING from you any longer. Treat him like that nerd in high school who sat there drooling on his calculator and wanted to do all your homework for you. No reason to be rude, but PAY HIM NO MIND!
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
Surfer, I was brought up in a home mixed with Catholics and Muslims, not religions must people think would mix, but it worked. But to me personally, the peace of Islam spoke to me more.
Blu, I know you're right. You and T. And kind of as soon as I did it, I thought you know I should have just ignored him. I am planning to do something with MIL and don't intend on inviting him in on this. And you're right, he absolutely needs to feel as if he's lost me completely. It was just that it was a holiday, I didn't want to be completely rude, but I know that he doesn't really deserve my well wishes.
Noted, i shall put it down as a mistake, learn from it. And not do it again!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
I get what you mean, I would potentially say to wh that he's angered me, however I most probably would not tell him he's a d!ck- that kinda thing would hang about on him. 
consider it a gift from me to you, written oh so eloquently.