Sorry you are here buddy. Its clear to me, based on what you have written, that your W is having a PA. Your W is having sex with another man. So I have to ask you (warning:2x4 coming), where are your balls? You seem to be taking this all VERY well. What your W is doing is not ok and you need to stand up for yourself. She seems to have a very pleasant idea of what D looks like. If you're ok with that, then fine. But I wouldn't be. And if you aren't, then you should make that clear to her. You come across to me as a "Mr Nice Guy." If that what you are, your WW is going to continue to walk all over you. That's what I see is happening. You need to detach, 180, GAL and GO DARK. Go directly to the LRT section of the book. Read the whole book but that's what you need to be doing. Dont engage her in R talk. Its ok to validate but she needs to know that a D will not be so pretty if that's not what you see happening. In order for this to have a chance at turning around, she needs to admit to the A and show genuine remorse. Until that happens, there is no possibility of moving forward. She needs to respect you as a man. So show her the man that you truly are. Stand up for yourself and don't allow her to cake eat, gaslight and walk all over you. Show her what she will be missing if she continues down this path. Become the most awesome Brain that has ever been. Show her that you are fine without her. In fact, show her that you are better without her. Make her see what she is giving up by choosing this path.
I used to have a Boss. He started a meeting once by saying "tough talk for tough times." Well these are tough times, thanks for your insight.
1. If I was a betting man, I would bet it's full PA. Sometimes you want to believe the lie. Honestly hearing she loved another man hurt more. But I will keep an eye out for that 2x4.
2. Guilty of being Mr. Nice guy. That's why she looked flabbergasted when I told her I'm making my own recessions from here out. Secession that make me happy.
3. We are currently not talking and I got my GAL going. I will read up on detaching and going dark..
