Papers are filed, here comes the D. Focus on me

[Cherry]

* out not cut! That would have been a whole different experience!

[JksD]

Sweet Cherry! Thanks for thinking of me and dropping by my thread.

The other dbers have been giving you sound advice and I have nothing to add.

I see that you have been doing well with your GAL and keeping firm boundaries. I hope that you have your legal and financial ducks in a row too.

You seem stronger emotionally. But like Blu has suggested, do keep working on your emotional aspect.

Keeping you and your little ones in my thoughts in this difficult time.

[CT1118]

Cherry,

Just conversed myself upon pages 1-3 of the new thread. First, I have so much respect for you - i have been checked for language a few times here in the forums, I am who I am, but you are the baddest MF'r in this place. I will never be pregnant and must say an opportunity I shall gladly waive; yet your story affects me in a such an inspiring manner that I want you to know how amazing I think you are. I can't relate to it on many levels, I can't imagine it, I can't even conceive as a man blowing you up like what is being done to you. And still, forgiveness exists in your heart. You inspire me woman.

That's it, that's all I got. I read more on you than I write, but you...still in the fight. My veneration.

[Cherry]

Hi grl, glad to hear from you. I hope you are okay. Yep legal and financial business is taken care of. Blu gave some great advise and some great pointers, just trying to take good care of me and my little ones.


CT1118 thank you the respect means a lot. And here's me at times thinking I'm not doing as well as I could be doing. It's a work in progress and I've found myself getting stronger over the past few weeks. I guess I'll still be in this fight to a certain level until I feel I can throw the towel in. In the meantime, I've just got to let him go and make these decisions, and then maybe he will see he's a fool to have thrown everything away. Or maybe he won't. But I've got to prepare myself to carry on with things either way.

Going to GAL and see family today. Just got to wait til the vomitting calms to a level so I can drive without pulling over, not pleasant! S loves to visit family and have people running round and playing with him- not to mention, I can take a breather while everyone else is busy with him.

[Surfer]

Cherry

How are you?

Surfer.

[Cherry]

Surfer, I'm not too bad. Enjoying the lovely sunshine while it lasts! Got up and took s out, I got a msg from wh asking had I took s out. I just simply text yes. Afterwards I felt somewhat guilty incase he wanted to spend some time with him. But the past couple days when he said he would, he didn't. And then even when we were home, he sat in a different room to us. So I shall pay it no mind. Maybe he was just wondering where I had gone, who knows.

But yes, it's a lovely sunny day so took s out, seeing the family and hit up a park and let him burn some energy. And I am going to breathe this lovely air in, perfect cure for vomitting!

[BluWave]

(((Cherry)))

This is your thread and you can spew if you want to (to the tune of it's my party and I'll cry if I want to). This is a safe place for you to let out your thoughts and feelings and you should not have to censor yourself! You also have nothing to apologize for.

IMO this has nothing to do with what age an H bonds with his child, your thread has to do with the fact that YOUR WH is severely neglecting his ill pregnant wife and his young child. It is very troubling and completely unacceptable! So let's call him what we need to, but not focus on HIM because he doesn't deserve your attention, not because it is a trigger for other readers here.

You are getting stronger and want to be keep moving forward and for that we all admire you! I love reading your GAL & 180 posts because I am rooting for you to move on without WH. I hope he moves out soon so you can at least feel comfortable in your own home and not have the A (him coming and going) staring you in the face. Him being in the home is very unsettling and confusing for you and your S. You deserve to be surrounded with love and support.

Keep that chin up mama! He deserves nothing from you right now and if he wants to see S, then he needs to put the full effort forth to arrange it. You don't need to take care of that on top of EVERYTHING you are doing. He needs to start being accountable for his choices. You continue to focus on you and those beautiful babes.

You got this!!!
Blu

[Zues126]

As I said my comments weren't aimed at Cherry specifically, they were general comments based on trends I've seen lately among a number of threads.

No one is saying LBS's are wrong to feel anger.
No one is saying LBS's are wrong for venting their anger.

What I AM saying is there is a difference between expressing pain and anger, and being nasty. For example, it is one thing to say "It really hurts and infuriates me when WAS does ______". It is another to say "WAS is an @%&#*, they are an idiot, they stupid, they are the scum of the earth", or whatever else. We all have the right to our emotions, but we also have the responsibility to choose what types of humans we want to be and how we choose to express them. And for me I didn't like name calling and personal attacks on the 3rd grade schoolyard and I don't feel any differently about it now.

To Cherry and all LBS's, I absolutely agree that the betrayal of the WAS is one of the most hurtful and destructive things that a human can choose to do in this world. I'm on record of saying not only is it ok to be upset, I'm glad when LBS's are upset, because if they weren't it would mean that they are either sociopaths or seriously avoidant. By all means, get it all out here, and way you choose. If everyone gives a moment's thought to how they want to express that going forward then my post accomplished it's goal.

[Cherry]

Thanks blu! The thoughts and anger, I found that journaling it helped me release it so it did flow elsewhere. I don't particularly feel much anger at all, and it's really strange, I haven't felt much the past few days. I have it in my head he is going, so my mind is focused on what I need to do, how to protect my little family, financials etc.

Thank you, yes I thought he had a place lined up- he told me he would be gone in a few weeks. Then he began to show me places, and I politely but firmly told him I would not help him look, I will not help him tear apart my family. I think there will be more calm, because the intermittent in and out can be difficult, especially with a little one who knows when to expect daddy. I shall hopefully get a few renovations done that we were considering, no need to not follow through because he has gone, and focus on making it as cosy and loving for my new arrival. I don't doubt that I may have a little wobble when he actually leaves. I think it will do him good to live alone and deal with everything himself. I've always sorted bills, taxes, housework, cooking- you name it I did it.

Thanks blu! I do feel somewhat better than I have in previous weeks. Feeling like I'm taking charge of my future. I shall be the man and the woman of the house for a while, and I will thrive at that too!

Had a great day GAL with family and S today, just nice to enjoy some sun and eat some lovely bbq food. Seeing him laughing and having fun brings a smile to my face.

[Surfer]

Zeus

Cherry won't be upset I am sure there's no need to explain. Fcuk. You didnt mean it in a nasty way...."Cherry and Zues sitting in a tree...." I amaze myself how grown up I am at times!!

Right - let's jog on.

Surfer.