First - I hate to bring this up, but if they are thinking toxoplasmosis is a possibility with your eye, they HAVE tested you for HIV, right? If not, you should insist on it. Very unlikely but WASs have been known before to give STDs as a parting present.
Second - if you haven't seen a divorce attorney already, you need to see one now. This doesn't mean you have to be the one to file, but an attorney can tell you what is in your best financial interests. It may be that H is already paying more than he would be required - OR it may be that he's dragging his feet because he knows he would have to pay more.
Also - it's rotten that he's not spending more time with the kids. Sadly a common WAS trait. If he is good with the kids when he has them and the kids want to see him - go ahead and insist that he take them every other weekend. At least you'll get a break.
Quit asking about rotating in and out of the house - it sounds good in theory but it seldom seems like a workable option with a WAS. Renting three homes would be prohibitive, and he doesn't want you to rotate into his little lovenest (and do you really want to stay there and be surrounded by evidence of his (likely) flirtations?)
But whatever you do - talk to an attorney first. Don't try to negotiate any of this with your H until you have a good idea of what you are likely entitled too. This is a strategic negotiation, a business deal, and you need to separate the financial from the emotional.
