Offering Prayer

[bigybiz]

I've been "following" someone on a faith based site about marriage restoration. The author stood for his marriage for 8 years including a divorce before he and his wife got remarried. He gets my respect.

This week's devotion really struck me. One of the downfalls of my MR is my W and I were sexually active before we were married, even though we would call ourselves Christians. We conceived our D20 and the rocky road began.

Even if premarital sex was not an issue for you and your S, I think the following reading and passages could speak to many of us. It's a little long, but I'm sure you will get something from it.

As I always, I continue to pray for anyone who would want me to pray for them. Everyday I pray for over 20 DBer's and would be happy to do it for you. Just let me know.




THE WISE AND FOOLISH BUILDERS

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27

I was a very foolish man. I built my marriage on a foundation of shifting sand. I did what I thought was good for my marriage; what society said was good for my marriage. I never consulted God for His wisdom concerning my marriage. When storms came this weak foundation was washed away like a sand castle by a rising tide. The marriage and family I had built came crashing down.

During our courtship, I foolishly opened the door to Satan by acting in an unchaste manner with my future spouse. I acted selfishly and not lovingly. If I had truly loved my future wife, I would have followed God’s plan and saved sexual intimacy for the marriage bed. As the man, my job was to protect my future wife. Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, I failed to protect her from the schemes of the Evil One to destroy that which is holy in the eyes of God. I was deceived and fell for the lie.

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Isaiah 5:20-21

Sin has consequences. Since I failed to protect the dignity of my future wife, a seed of mistrust was sown in our relationship. My wife could never trust me fully to cherish and protect her. Satan used this to drive a wedge in our relationship. Satan is a liar who twisted God’s beautiful gift of spousal unity into the very thing that would ultimately destroy our marriage. I thought I was so wise but I fell for the lie.

It took many years in my faith journey to make the connection between my actions and the failure of my marriage. When my marriage failed, I did everything in my power to bring it back to life. I was still living in my own wisdom. Finally, after all of my attempts had failed and I had nowhere else to turn, I cried out to God to help me in my distress.

“In my distress I called to the Lord; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears...He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” 2 Samuel 22:7, 17-20

God spoke to me in my distress, “Listen to me and I will give you wisdom. Seek me with all your heart. Spend time getting to know me. I have given you Sacred Scripture as my love letter to you. Read it, take it to heart and obey what I tell you. It is the fount of life. Seek me first and I will give you the desires of your heart.”

“Pay attention... and listen to me; be silent, and I will speak.” Job 33:31

I poured over God’s Word. Encouragement and wisdom leapt from the page, giving me strength to fight for my marriage and family. God convicted me of my wrong doing and I repented of my sins. He showed me how to love my wife in a new and vibrant way, imitating Christ’s love for His bride, the Church (Eph 5:25-31). Like Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus, the scales were removed from my eyes. I could see the beauty, goodness and truth of God’s plan for marriage. I pleaded with God to give me another chance to live out my marriage according to His plan.

To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness... Ecclesiastes 2:26

I committed my life to Jesus and to walking in obedience to everything God commanded in His Word. I met Jesus in the desert of divorce. He was like an oasis, refreshing my soul for the journey ahead. I thank and praise God for not giving up on me in my sin. In due time, God did give me the desires of my heart and brought my wife home. She too met Jesus in our divorce and God gave her a new heart on fire with love for Him and His ways.

For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again. So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:14-21

Our God is a God of reconciliation. Jesus came into the world to give us “life to the full” (cf. John 10:10). Once I abandoned my life of sin and self-sufficiency and gave my life totally to Christ, God was able to work miracles in my marriage. If you are still holding on to self-sufficiency, let go and give control of your life to God. He loves you and knows what you need. Trust Him to work things out for you in due time. His plans far exceed anything you could dream or imagine.

May the Lord God draw your heart to himself, that you may follow him in everything. Amen. (cf. 1 Kings 8:58)