Papers are filed, here comes the D. Focus on me

[Zues126]

I'm starting to not like the character attacks, name calling, and overall hostility on this thread.

When something hurts I understand you have to get it out of your system, and that is one of the purposes we have this forum, for those going through situations and that are patient with us as we have to dump and ask for support. And there is no one on these forums that is more put off by the choice to walk away from a marriage. Yet we don't get to control their behavior, we just control our reaction to it, and allowing the dialog to turn into a series of eye rolls, spew, and cutting remarks isn't going to help anyone find inner peace, and certainly not going to help save a marriage.

Cherry, it stinks what WAH is doing. And it makes sense that you feel a lot of anger towards him. You have so much resentment that all he has to do is look at you wrong and you blow up. This isn't appropriate or a good habit to start. And it darn sure isn't going to make him feel safe, or that he's missing anything. What happened to detaching and focusing on your own behavior? How many times have you criticized WAH in your last thread, versus how many times you have reflected on your mistakes during your M and talked about your 180s?

And some of this criticism I take personally. I was not a baby guy. I didn't really connect with my children until they were much older. As they turned 7, and I could read to them, and talk with them, and really explore the world together, that's when it started to take for me. Now it's years later and I'm an AWESOME dad, and we have an AWESOME relationship. And I have years ahead of me with them living in my home, and hopefully many years beyond that as adults to continue. This was my journey, I'm doing just fine and am quite at peace, and anyone that attacks me seems to me to be struggling to mange through their own emotions.

Cherry, this isn't all about you or all about this thread, it's something that I've seen a lot of and I just needed to call it out. I'm not here to tell you not to post any more spew about WAH, because you do need a place to confide with friends. Just be aware of what you're writing. If WAH found it, would he feel profoundly moved by the deep, underlying spiritual love you held through him in his darkest hour? Or would he feel as betrayed as you do, and relieved he cut bait?