Quote: As we were saying goodnight, she was like "Thank you-thank you-thank you for helping so much today", and her kisses were extra warm.
Bud, you are learning a LOVE LANGUAGE, not a new system of barter and trade.
Quote: .. just something where I can see she's making the effort to do "something special" for me in return for the "special treatment" I'm giving her.
Special treatment means you are going above and beyond the call of duty. Love Language is something you learn and do for the sole benefit of your spouse... always, as much as much as you are able, because you want to love them in a way that is meaningful TO THEM.
A bit of caution. Try not to make setting the table your habitual Act of Service. It will lose it's meaning. Find new and different ways to provide her with AOS so that you are never, ever predictable. Familiarity breeds contempt, hm? You will come to expect that 'this AOS,' will get me 'this.' You are back to bartering, and will eventually come to resent that your AOS is not getting you what you want.
That is not the point.
Now, once a certain period of time has passed, and her love tank is overflowing... you can then approach her with a request of your own. She is always going to want to 'give' to you with an AOS, because she knows how to do that. You are stretching yourself to learn her language so you in turn can teach her YOURS.
Example. Honey, remember on Easter when you thanked me for all my help? That made you feel really good, didn't it? It made me feel great to be able to make you feel good in a way that would be meaningful to you.
The same way that my noticing where you need help, and pitching in without you having to ask makes you feel good and loved, is the same way my ML to you makes me feel good and loved. Do you think you can work with me and try to ML sometime this week (or shoot for the 'do you think you can work with me to ML twice a week?)
But I'd wait a good month or so before striking up this particular conversation. It could very well be that you won't need to initially...
