I consider what you did an R talk. It was a talk for her benefit. Don't do it. Actions speak louder than words. You don't need to tell her how it is going to be, you just do it and she sees. When you tell her stuff, it is usually intended to have an impact. Either changing her behavior or making her feel guilty, etc.
The problem is that you are making emotional decisions (even though you think they are well thought out they are emotional), and you will flip flop around or have trouble executing and following through. For example, if you say 'we will only communicate about children or finances', next time you have an emotional R talk you will have gone back on your new boundary and just look wishy washy, attached, and out of control.
You are < 60 days since BD. Your job is simple- damage control. There is nothing you can do to make things better. But there are a lot of things you can do to make things worse. So you need to zip your lips, sit on your hands, whatever, and avoid digging deeper. Sitting still in the middle of this crisis can be very hard, as men we have a tremendous desire to battle our enemy and either conquer it or fall valiantly in battle, but in the state you're in being still is the best thing in the world for you for these reasons.
Hang in.
Ok Zeus thanks for the input..when I get the urge..I will remember to zip my lips?
