Detachment and the end of limbo, sort of...too

[Phoebe]

Hi there, Silver Human!! I have no idea why I seem so serious of late. I guess I'm just bogged down in a lot of this legal stuff lately. Since I was served 3 weeks ago it's been pretty much on my mind all the time. It is a real slog, and my case is stupidly complex unless WH decides he is willing to settle. In the meantime, it's a whole lot of money going down the proverbial drain drafting motions, etc., and that pains me. I'm a frugal person, and, wow, I just don't understand how it all came to this.

Thursday I spent 2 1/2 hours (!!!) at my lawyer's office working together with his assistant to fill out this ridiculous financial document that I have to submit to the state. Part way through working on this document, the state came out with a new form that I had to use instead. The old form could be hand written, the new and improved (!!!) version has to be filled out digitally. Getting the information transferred to the new form has been an exercise in frustration, to say the least. The worst part, though, is that the document that I've spent so, so, so much time and energy on barely gets any attention from the court. And yet I still have to fill it out as accurately as possible.

At one point I was so frustrated with the assistant because she had an old copy that was completely wrong and she couldn't seem to appreciate why I wanted her to work from my new version instead of hers. I had literally stayed up all night to make all the changes, but she wanted to use her original document and have me read the new information to her line by line so she could write it in by HAND, and THEN go put it into her digital document.

Holy Cow, usually I'm a pretty nice person, but I was teetering right on the hairy edge of losing it.

I finally convinced her to let me email her a copy of my document (apparently she never got it from my L), and then she headed to her office to work on it. While she was gone, I took a Xanax, listen to a couple rounds of the F*ck That meditation, put on my most soothing music in my BlueTooth and just chilled for about half an hour while she worked. Luckily, after she did her work on her own, things got much better and the process went very smoothly. Thank goodness.

Anyway, it's been a whole lot of stuff like that, writing out what amount to informal depositions for my L, etc., etc., etc.. I am just tired of it all, frankly.

SH, Silver Human, Super Hero, Sage Homme, Sparrow Hawk (Shall I go on? ), thank you so much for the rainbow hugs. That was cool!

I’m early here tonight, since I didn’t manage to get here yesterday.

So here’s an update on the farm:

For the last two days I have let my “baby” birds free range. I say baby birds, but they’re really almost as big as the adult hens now, even if they only weigh half as much. I just love seeing them all out roaming around. The young ones tend to steer clear of the older ones, as chickens are very serious about their pecking order. It’s often based on size, so you can guess who’s low on the totem pole right now!

My eggs are selling faster than I can supply them, so I’ll be glad when the little ones start pulling their weight in the egg department. I only have 8 hens producing at the moment, so getting a full dozen can take 2-3 days because two or more of those lay only medium eggs that I feel bad selling. They look so teeny compared to the jumbo plus that the other girls lay, so I keep them for myself.

My parents still have their veggie stand, but nothing has sold in the last 2 days. No idea why, as they had been selling multiple baskets of veggies daily. wax and wane, I guess.

I am baking bread at the moment, so the house is starting to smell really nice, although the hot oven is making it kind of warm in here.

Meaty updates on my mental state, huh? Well, I’ve honestly been feeling really blah to down for the last few days. Shrug. Is it the legal crap, is it just a low ebb, is it entanglement issues, is it… whatever? I am not at all sure, but I’m working on it. I took today off and drove exactly nowhere. Opted out of all biking, too. I am just laying low.

A neighbor came over and we spent a couple hours out on my swing talking and watching the chickens. I spent a fair amount of time out there by myself, too.

I have yet to shower for the day, and I am going to say that is really not normal for me. It’s usually a first thing upon rising activity. I think I’ll go hop in now and get back to feeling human, even though it’s after 8 pm now.

Lovely Cherry, you have exactly nothing to fear from butterflies! They are beautiful and sweet, and no, they don't bite. I now have two chrysalises, a large caterpillar looking for a place to pupate, and two more growing kids busily munching on milkweed. I love raising these creatures. Fascinating, gratifying, beautiful...