My Wife Walked Out 6

[RSG]

Haha. Actually, when his teacher and I spoke it was more like he was hugging the kid. He's just now learning how to show affection to other kids, and it still comes out inappropriately. He'll even do it to me sometimes, where I bend down on his level and he'll give my throat a bear hug lol.

Well, birthday at the preschool was today. Had a text exchange this morning, she wanted a picture of all 3 of use and I objected saying family pictures are inappropriate. She hit me back with a barrage about how it's for HIM, we don't need to talk about it anymore, we're both busy at work, see you this PM, etc. I just said ok.

Meet her at the school. She's pretty pleasant, but when we get into his room I feel like I'm even taking a bigger role in setting up the party than usual. Once, when S was getting a little cranky, I tried to hug him, kiss him, etc and asked him to stay in his chair she walked by and said "H, stop, just let him go" like I was harming him.
Also, she asked the teacher to take a picture of all of us. I just went with it. She holds S in such a way that the ONLY way I can participate and not look silly is to have my arm around both of them. I put my arm around him, touch her shoulder and she says "You don't have to touch me, here I'll move him" and puts him in such a way where I'm crouching awkwardly.

Generally she was pleasant. I kept things pretty friendly, didn't hover and made sure to make it about S and let W do her own thing. She looked pretty good in jeans, with more new shoes. She did eventually comment that I wore the same shirt to his birthday 4 yrs in a row. I couldn't help but chuckle, I did do that on purpose. For my boy.

Overall, it wasn't awkward but I can tell she has more work to do for me to really buy in. I'm working really hard not to judge, question things like "When'd you get those shoes?" "Why that hair color?" and so on, be forceful in the way I talk to her. She still treats me roughly the same, especially in front of other people. One on one, she's gotten softer and will have a real discussion. In public, she tries to make things look normal, tries to take charge, tell me what to do, etc. The latter two are things that really took hold when she started going rogue and I just abhor them.

A good birthday for the little guy, which is the most important thing. Someone must be feeding him cupcakes, because he snarfed down 2 in a couple minutes. They were minis, but still....he's never been a sugar kid!

I didn't force any talk, that would've been dumb. I didn't address the family stuff or anything else. We did interact ok, shared some little jokes and got along ok overall. I can see there is still a "more than parents" connection, but I think we've both got protective walls built up pretty high.

CBT, you're right. I think she's still finding her way through the fog. It goes from thin layers to pea soup, but it's still there. When I would talk to his teacher about S I would always use "I" whereas when she'd interject she'd say "We." She does like to use what I refer to as a euphemism in "Co-parenting" but sometimes it feels forced, like she just doesn't want to acknowledge all that I'm doing. It is still all about her. Her wants. Her needs. Her this her that. It's 3.5 months which I know sounds like a little to so many on here, but I feel like I'm moving in a general upward trajectory. Like the stock market. Her? All over creation. Does that illustrate she's still trying to figure things out? I'm not sure, but it would appear that way....