I just read a few of these posts and I want to scream at my computer! 2*4 (with rusty nails) coming at you right now and it's not going to be soft! 1. I don't have time to word this eloquently, 2. I am going to say the SAME thing I have been telling you since I posted to you!
You want to save your M right? You want your H to come back, no? You want him to end all contact with OW? You want him to realize that he is making a terrible mistake, do a 180, become accountable and remorseful, and then come back to you and do whatever it takes to enter the difficult stage piecing???
So here is what you do starting NOW. Drop the rope! LET GO! MOVE ON WITHOUT HIM! Kick him to the curb, hold your head up, and you show him you are one strong hot mama!!! No more cake eating for him! No more nice talks, temp checking, him coming to your room (what is that?), friendly meals, nice little chats, things getting "heated" (whatever that means I don't like it at all), and he needs to start thinking and knowing that Cherry is NOT sitting around waiting for him! He has you as plan B and he knows it!!! He will NOT COME BACK as long as he knows he can! You are treating him like a walkaway and hes not. HE IS DEEP IN AN AFFAIR!!! Until he goes out into the world, loses you/family/home, and gets a taste of reality, he WILL NOT LEARN! He has to go into reality with OW and see what a mistake he is making and then actually FEEL the loss of you!!!
Stop being friendly, stop chatting, stop telling him what you are doing and where you are going, nothing should be getting "heated" and what the he$$ does that even mean!?! You actaully let this dirtbag flirt, kiss, come on to you? He is running out every night and sleeping with that SKANK! Come on and open your eyes! He is a mess and he does NOT deserve anything from you! Right now he knows you are vulnerable, you are desperate, you are waiting for him, and he can come back whenever he pleases.
Why does he get that?!? He has treated you and your children like garbage, been completely selfish, and he gets to know he can come back whenever he wants??? No, sister, this is not how it works! Right now he does not respect you and he knows you do not respect yourself.
I am not suggesting you treat him bad and play games. I am suggesting that you hold your head up high, find your worth and strength, and let him know you are moving on in life without him. He needs to get out of the house as long as he is with OW and disrespecting you. I would have kicked his arse to the curb the minute I knew he was with OW.
As long as he knows you are sitting there waiting and you are plan B, he WILL NOT come back. He needs to get out. He needs to see that things with OW are not what he things they will be. And he needs to miss you, the family, and the home life. SO STOP GIVING THAT TO HIM!!!
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
