Okay, Tim, let's run this through the Corri translator:
Keep in mind, this isn't about YOU.
Quote: W needs a kleenex: W: "Honey, can you get up and go get me a kleenex please?"
She is inviting you to do something for her that she will VALUE. So instead of you rolling your eyes, or letting out a SIGH as you get up, look at her and say, "oh, of course, I can't believe I didn't notice, I'm sorry." And go get her a Kleenex. And as you hand it to her, ask her if she's okay, is there anything else you can get her? (in a concerned voice.).
Listen to yourself:
Quote: This has been true FOREVER... since the VERY earliest days of our R.
She's been trying to communicate to you in her language for years, and you've been missing it. Of course you will get up and do for yourself, because it doesn't occur to you to do otherwise. But that is YOU. If her primary love language is Acts of Service, you getting up to do something she requests of you is like her responding enthusiastically to a deep, passionate kiss. Get it? It may mean nothing to you, but to her, it means everything. And keep in mind, it doesn't HAVE to mean anything to you, it might even bother the heck out of you, but TO HER the two of you are emotionally connecting.
Keep in mind that your 'annoyance' at a request of hers may be the same feeling SHE has when you make a move on her, you know? So this is a two-way street.
HOT CROSS BUNS SCENARIO:
Quote: W: I would have brought it for you. Me: I know... W: Well, why didn't you just wait? Me: I don't like to make you bring it... that's "mean"
SHE was doing something for you. SHE was expressing love for you. When you got up to get your own, she interpreted that as a criticism, just as you would interpret her 'huffing' when you caress her.
So, the next time this happens, and she says, 'well, I would have done that for you,' which actually means, 'What? What am I doing wrong?" You can say to her, "honey, I KNOW you would have gotten it for me. [Kiss her on the cheek.] I just thought I'd help you out is all. I like helping you, okay?"
See? You in turn are telling her that, no, nothing is wrong, and in the process, you are confirming your love for her by helping her.
If you are the type who likes to do for himself, you are going to have to 'get over' that feeling to allow your wife to express herself in a way she knows how, and then 'shower' her with appreciation, words of affirmation and affection when she does something for you.
It is YOUR discomfort, just as you will deal with HER discomfort when you ML. You are willing to deal with her discomfort in ML if you know that she will keep going, if she will learn to 'receive' from you in a way that means one heck of a lot to you.
