Confused on What to Do

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I also opened my big mouth after she told me this stuff and told her I thought she has been controlling in our relationship because I feel she has always been the one to make the big decisions and I never really had a say. I gave her some examples and she obviously didn't agree. As soon as those words came out of my mouth I regretted saying it.

The next time you feel like defending or arguing...just try and remember how well it goes for you right now.

And this isn't one of those things where..."maybe THIS time it will go differently"...it won't.

It just seems so unfair that she can criticize me for everything but I can't say anything to her.

Who the [censored] told you life was going to be fair?
You should get your money back from that guy.

Finally, the most frustrating thing about this is that I have no control over this M. It's up to her to decide what we do and it's so frustrating. She controls what will happen to our family and its so stressful to have to live like this. I know I have to take care of myself, but its just not right that this insane woman is going to effect what happens to the rest of my life

Then quit. Then you have control. You have control in how long you do this. There is your control. Stand up to her and ride this out, there is your control.
You are confusing the Pain of what you are CHOOSING to go through as not having control. And that is not true.
You are choosing to hold onto your marriage, and let pretend that marriage metaphorically is a burning log. You are choosing to hold onto it with your hand and you are getting burnt and you are basically saying, this log is burning me and I cannot control it.
You could choose to use some tongs, distance and all of the protective strategies we suggest.
You cannot be a victim here if you choose this course. This woman doesn't have THAT much power over you. It is my hope that your realize that soon, and that while you are being mistreated and are suffering you realize it is your choice because you want to be able to save your marriage.

You are on a small boat, your wife's MLC is a raging hurricane in front of you. Go through or go around.

I have posted this several times before, I'd appreciate it if you read it. I think you could use it, yes it is a poem, but it a poem when men where men, not some of this BS slam poetry hipster garbage.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley