The following is the result of one of the exercises in Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue. I am working through the exercises, in the hope of discovering something I don't already know (no real luck so far). The second exercise is something called the Relationship Health Profile. There are 62 statements, and you label each one either True or False. If you mark an even-numbered statement True, it counts against the health of your relationship. Same thing if you mark an odd-numbered statement False. If your overall score is above 32, (quote) "...it is likely that your relationship is in extreme danger of failing." (as in, Warning, Will Robinson... Warning...).
My score was 46.
Here are the statements that counted against the health of my marriage. I bet this will hit home with a lot of folks here. Even if I were to take out the 10 most extreme statements as being unlikely, that would still leave me in the danger zone... The statements that are stated "positively" are the even-numbered True responses, and those that are stated in the negative are the odd-numbered False responses (appropriately re-worded).
I am not satisfied with my sex life. My partner doesn't really listen to me. I don't trust my partner. I feel picked on and put down. I am not hopeful about our future. It is not easy to share my feelings. My partner does not often say "I love you". I don't feel appreciated. My partner is not there for me in hard times. My partner does not understand me. I imagine myself divorced. My relationship is not what I always dreamed of. My partner does not treat me with dignity and respect. My partner is a taker. We do not often do fun things together. I do not feel loved. We do not still have a lot of passion in our relationship. I am trapped with no escape. My partner does not think I am fun to be with. Our relationship has gotten boring. We do not enjoy going out on dates alone. We do not trust each other a great deal. We have become nothing more than roommates. I am no longer proud of my body. My partner does not respect me. My partner no longer finds me desirable. We just seem to want different things. I am not allowed to think for myself. I feel crowded by my partner. People have no idea what our relationship is really like. My partner is not open to suggestions. My partner has shut me out. My partner is not my primary source of emotional support. I feel judged and rejected by my partner. My partner does not care if I am upset or sad. My partner treats me like a child. My partner does not put our relationship ahead of all others. I'll never satisfy my partner. My partner does not want to hear my stories. I chose my partner for the wrong reasons. I don't look forward to our time together. My partner treats me like an employee. I don't win my share of disputes. I envy my frineds' relationships. My partner would not protect me if necessary. I don't feel needed by my partner.
