H filed for divorce - is it too late?

[Surfer]

He just got done telling me about how he couldn't talk to some cute girl at the gym, and that he came to the realization that he's a "loser" and that's why he was always okay with it when things weren't going well. He didn't specify, but I felt like he meant not going well between us.

My take is that he is saying he "feels like a loser". He saying he didn't notice it when the sh!t was hitting the fan in the relationship as he was distracted or perhaps felt his feelings were appropriate.

Look you have no kids so D is much easier for him. But if you really want to give it a shot, get the housework sorted and other things he will see. Both of you keep on top of it. Try if I do this (vaccuming) would you mind doing that (mow the lawn) please? If not, just crack on cheerfully. working together on simple things like housework can help. You have obviously been a bit slack around the house from your posts.

In terms of other physical things he can see as you change What about your appearance? You need to look your best.

The final bit is being the best person you can be, doing what you did not do. I.e things to make you and him feel better out each other. This last bit is the thing that takes time. You can work on one thing today though and that is to be cheerful, fun you, always happy when you interact. Even if he is spewing at you. Tricky but it's 'act as if'. It's do-able.

The really hard but is not only to keep all of this up but also to drop negative relationship habits and keep them dropped. You can't do things for now. Don't do anything you are not willing to do for the rest of you life is a really scary but true mantra. But you have to work out - what are my negative relationship habits, honestly, and see if you are willing and able to change.

I hope this helps. You clearly have your feet on fairly firms foundations in terms of DB'ing. Take it slowly. You are moving an oil tanker. It takes time....

Surfer.