Yeah, got W calmed down. When I went upstairs, DD20 had already stormed off to her room to calm down, and W was doing the dishes. Fortunately, she was just starting the job, so I got to give her lots of help... I helped organize and tidy things so the washing could start, then I dried and put away just as fast as she washed, so there was never more than two things in the drying rack at a time. While we were doing that, I was talking to her about the whole sitch with the kids, and esp. how DD20 is at an age where it is NORMAL and NATURAL for her to be pulling away from the family, and how at the VERY least, W needs to get a grip and not react with so much anger when DD20 pulls these stunts. Just so you know, DD20 went out last weekend, stayed out till after 2:00, and was hung-over the next morning. The hangover DID have other consequences also, because DD20 was cantoring at church that Sunday (being a solo song leader). Bcuz of the h.o., she didn't do such a good job (she's one of the best singers in the church, usually). So THIS weekend (esp. with this being Holy Thursday, and we were at mass tonight, and tomorrow is Good Friday and she's cantoring again), she doesn't NEED to go out. Add to that all the family that are coming this weekend. So this was just a last-minute grandstand play by DD20, and W was right in calling a halt to it, I just pointed out that she didn't have to get so bent out of shape about it.
Then, I think I finally made a point. As we were discussing the above, I was saying how DD20 (and also the other two) need to start being more self-sufficient. W says "Yeah, I bent over backwards to wash her sweaters for her..." (now, DD20 ONLY buys sweaters that require special hand-washing and lay-to-dry care), so I finally got W to say "Okay, DD20 should do her own sweaters from now on..."
So maybe things are looking up. I don't see a resolution anytime soon to the transportation problem, but we'll see what happens when at least DD20 has her license. Thing is, if we get a 2nd car, and she's more than an OCCASIONAL driver on it, the insurance will go THROUGH the ROOF, and yes, both she and S18 have part-time jobs, but they cannot work during the school year, and every penny they make (okay, not EVERY penny, but close) goes to their tuition. I know I sound like I'm just making excuses, but at least to me it does seem insoluble for the time being... just something to put up with until we get some more money coming in...
