Taking my first sip of the water

[SH_]

Ghost.

I don't want to say that I am throwing my hands up and quitting here, but this entire page of posts just looks like all the other pages in your threads for the past year.
You are asking the same questions.
Folks are giving you the same advice.
You are responding with the same.....

I do not know what you can share

Last night I could not sleep so today I am going to be shattered

Why does everything feel so awkward

Things were never like this before now I feel the only way forward is to move out and be apart from my wife yet this is the last thing I want to happen but I can see no other options

So option I move to my mums
Option we put the house on the market

And then move to separate houses and she will almost certainly meet someone else as might i and if we don't then life will forever be different with only me having my daughter without my W and she will have her on her own

I do not want someone else bringing up our youngest daughter why did she not work on this at the start I do not see how after this length of time apart How anyone can get back together yet people do get back together after being apart for longer than I have been apart from my W.

I will work on my weight
I will give my W more space to live the life that she wants to live
I will be the best dad possible

I need to accept that my W may choose to meet other guys and that this is a choice
I want to show my W a new ghost and I will do this

So do you think I should say to my W would she like me to move to my mums to give each other space or should I just say this is what I am going to do and action it ....is this some thing we should talk about first ?

I am scared that seeing less of me she will get further from me and separation will take place

Back to the ted talks my goal is to loose weight a noticeable amount and be the man that she first fell in love with. I still want to show her how valuable she is to me and our children and that making this choice does not have to happen

Thank you my friends

Deja Vu my friend.
How many more times will this be stated and no actions taken?

Dude, the water is right in front of you!!!!
Stick your face in and drink before you die of thirst my friend.

I don't know what SH wants to do with you, but he is trying to help you out of this emotional pit. He is extending his hand......but you have to grab ahold and start climbing out of the pit. Put forth the effort to work with him and study the material he gives you. Will you do it, Ghost?

This comes to mind.

“A strong man cannot help a weaker unless the weaker is willing to be helped, and even then the weak man must become strong of himself; he must, by his own efforts, develop the strength which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition.” -James Allen

Hi

I feel that I am getting close to the end

I have tried to change become a better person I have tried to show my W how sorry I am for letting her down I have tried to keep a connection and it is not helping

My W and I are getting more and more distant or so it feels and this is heartbreaking

It hurts when I can see she reads my msg yet does not reply ( power and control ?)

I do not want for my family to breakup but I have no control of this outcome as she has already made this decision.

I am ready to do whatever needs to be done she wants seperate houses it feels time to give her what she wants

I am Struggling at the moment and I feel so alone

This comes to mind.

“A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.” James Allen

I think a weight loss program may be extremely good for me I think meting weekly will be a great incentive to work hard to loose the weight

Less interaction with the W will also be a good thing for me mentally and perhaps she may be drawn cloe to me who knows .

I believe I could easily fall into love again is this codependent rather than love and perhaps this is what happened with my W when we met years ago and We got together were we really in love....and what is love ....who knows 27 years together is a long time to have got it wrong

Sandi you said could I move forward if it meant that I was able to live With my wife I am not sure I understand this I see moving forward as being apart from her

This comes to mind

“Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves.” James Allen

Will you continue IC sessions to discuss your racing and cycling thoughts, fears, etc.? Will you not go to IC to win back your W. but to be a happier man?

This comes to mind

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.” James Allen

Ghost my friend. My dear sad and desperate friend.
You need to get an appointment with an IC or psychiatrist and be honest with them and dig deep and express the help that you continue to ask for here.
Please....do this....desperate measures for a desperate time.

You need some hands on assistance and guidance. You are not getting the information that is being given here because of the things I have put in this post to you.

Will you take this one step.
Focus only on doing this.
Can you do this?
Will you do this?

No more trying to go at this alone.
You hands on assistance my dear friend.

This is the Hammer of Thor coming down right now...........
Understand this is from the bottom of my heart.
I do not want to see another week, month or year of you spinning in circles.
There is no value or benefit for you, your family and your future in doing nothing.

I ask again,
Will you take this one step.
Focus only on doing this.
Can you do this?
Will you do this?

“Act is the blossom of thought; and joy and suffering are its fruits; thus does a man garner in the sweet and biter fruitage of his own husbandry” James Allen