Confused on What to Do

[Eagle11]

You have this fantastic opportunity to show her...not tell her...just how awesome you are.

Oh and likely ANY positive changes you make she will likely complain about...ignore or validate but don't stop. She isn't the only one that can re-evaluate their life and make changes.

Use this time to shine.

Jack,

Thanks for the words. I need them tonight. The W just gave me her feelings out of nowhere tonight. She says she doesn't feel anything for me and she doesn't know if she ever will. She says its been 12 years of hurt for her and she doesn't know if she will ever love me again. She doesn't think she can be her true self around me. She said I don't appreciate her for what all she has done for our marriage. She thinks I don't find her attractive or that I truly love her either. I could go on and on with what she said. It was like being punched in the face. This came out of nowhere tonight, there was no indication this was going to come up. She also claims the OM is over and her texts are for support at work because he knows what she is going through with the stress of her job and I don't.

I also opened my big mouth after she told me this stuff and told her I thought she has been controlling in our relationship because I feel she has always been the one to make the big decisions and I never really had a say. I gave her some examples and she obviously didn't agree. As soon as those words came out of my mouth I regretted saying it. It just seems so unfair that she can criticize me for everything but I can't say anything to her.