Well, as you can see when you sit still, she is lost. The more you listen the clearer it becomes. As as you detach more and more you will really be able to see her spinning. It's her, not you! And yep, there is that massive confusion that presents in MLC.

Just listen. Don't help her make any decisions. When my h went through his "planning" phase of MLC, he would sometimes ask my opinion and I learned to turn everything back to him. He would ask what I thought about x completely crazy plan and I would reply "what do you think?" Then he would look completely confuzzled.

My favorite thing he told me was that he wanted to go and be Indiana Jones!! (Umm, he did not seem to realize that is a fictional character!) So, I asked him "you want to be an actor?!?" Ohhh, did he get soooo mad!)

Keep positive. Stay focused on you and your little ones.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced